Phew! Today was a busy day at work, thankfully! It helps the time pass.
I've chewed off my nails. No cigarettes (well barely), no man (only the unavailable, uninterested, or the fantasies), and my jeans don't fit (jeggings obviously do). FML!
I've been in great mood despite all of the above until the night falls. Really until I get into bed and instead of trying to breath deep into relaxation my mind runs around like a maniac and I cry myself to sleep cursing the heavens! It's all so silly as life is so much bigger than these silly things, but right now they are all I truly know. I feel lonely & deprived. So pathetic.
That garbage aside - I have a show this week and am excited to see some of my girls. I'll be at Nurse Bettie on Thursday night with Calamity Chang & co. One of the funnest/most laid back shows in NYC. No cover, gogo, audience participation, with a party atmosphere.
Next up, on Monday, 1/19 (a holiday for us lucky ones) I'll be taking the class & teaching a portion of "Create your Burlesque Solo" with the ladies of Burlesque Bikini Bootcamp. I Am Worthy will focus on positive language and your body. Sign up here! Hope you can make it. I'll be sharing an excerpt the following week!
My tired eyes are giving up as I type. I hope you had a nice weekend, I had a great one of catching up with friends and soaking up some jazz. Stay warm or cool depending on where you live!
Ciao for now,
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
It’s so fucking ridiculous how much a bad memory can linger. It takes up so much head space (because you let it) that you actually forget all the good stuff. I began to reflect on 2014 and had this “it was alright” sort of reaction and then I went HOLD UP! And put on the brakes *screeeeeeech (not the murderer from Saved by the Bell).
After sitting back and realizing what a moron I was for thinking I had an alright year, I slapped myself across the face and THEN asked myself: well how the hell can I top 2014?? Before the year’s end I was on 2 TV shows (Better TV with the smart and beautiful Rachel DeAlto & Midevenings with Jay Miller), in a calendar with the Pinups forPatriots, I hosted red carpet interviews at a film festival (The Nickel Series), I won a trip to LA and got to watch The Real’s finale taping, I got more tattoos on my knuckles, I put on 4 amazing shows at Duane Park, I GOT A RIDICULOUSLY PERFECT NEW JOB (which, if you remember was my #1 goal, woot!), I had an amazing love although it was lost, I spent my NYE with Coco, and I even won a big screen TV via the show Super Fun Night (RIP) and Twitter. Gees Louise!
The truth is that the heartache still lingers and that seems to trump all the good stuff. There are days I choose to be self-loathing because I just want to be, leave me alone. Most days though, I wake up and think, holy shit, life is perfect. I am happy, mostly healthy (getting gyno results this Thursday, I’m pretty sure it’s nothing serious because I hope my doc would have called as I asked), ambitious, and free. What more could I ask for as a 31 year old living in NYC?
2015, is off to a wild start and might be giving last year a run for its money! Get your presale calendar here, benefitting the New York Women’sFoundation and filled with local self-made business owners from performers, to photographers, to shop girls! My Raw Travel episode that I filmed while still working at Tatyana Boutique, (formerly Bettie Page Clothing) is airing in February or March. I will be lecturing for a portion of the Solo Intensive at BurlesqueBikini Bootcamp on 1/19 (sign up!) regarding positive language and your body. I got to perform at the Lovesick Expo again at the Music Hall of Williamsburg on the 1st Sunday of the year and I haven’t been smoking. Sooo…not a bad start. I am pumped to say the least. Your continued love & support make all of this so much more fun and worth ever drop of energy <3
What have you been up to? Any fresh or continued goals? Let us know!!
Ciao for now,
Thursday, 1/15 – Nurse Bettie, No Cover
Thursday, 1/12 – Nurse Bettie, No Cover
Saturday, 1/14 – Hosting at The Triad