Tuesday, September 13, 2011

37,000 Feet

That's our cruising altitude. I love flying. I used to pretend-hate it like most of the population does and was convinced I'd die in the air, or rather, falling out of it. Today I realized how safe I feel up here - yes, I'm above the clouds as I type. Totes cray cray! If anything I feel even better in the sky.  There's an incubating effect, I feel calm...usually.

I also am not sure if it's American Air or my hips but I fit in my seat like a hand in it's glove. I'll never forget in 2006 - my Euro trip - I barely fit between the arm rests. I felt my 204-ish lb frame's unapologetic spreading out, creeping up on my neighbor.  My thighs felt 3x the size they already were. Talk about being embarrassed. After that series of flights I trained myself to wear the tightest jeans I could to keep me encased.  I don't weigh much less in numbers but I look a whole lot different. The seats felt like lazy boys this time around :)

The second our wheels lifted off the runway I started crying. I felt absurdly lonely, confused, completely useless, unoriginal, uncreative, and everything else lacking luster, gusto, or confidence.  Total 180 from when I was landing a couple of days ago. Ugh, I'm so sensitive. I know it's part of my charm but its hard being such a softie. I also know that not everyone can take a deep breath and keep trudging on the way I do!  Until next time, Good Bye LA thanks for 2 solid days of emotional weightlessness.

I finished reading Larry "Bozo" Harmon's Book The Man Behind the Nose. I don't think I've read anything I've been this inspired by in ages.  The simplicity is whats pushing me to take flight. I would give anything to have had even 5mins with the clown or the man behind the nose.  I feel such a connection with just his writing and the way he presented it. I felt like it was a conversation between him and I. A casual chat. A one-on-one over coffee. He also had little pictures to accompany his stories and some were so random I actually laughed out loud.

There's no other way to explain his life: he was a simple, small town boy with big dreams.  It was only by chance he really pursued show business, because he was well on his way to becoming a doctor! He was kind, hard-working at no matter what job he had taken, and confident. His ultimate goal in life was to ensure that people were living joyous lives filled with laughter. Peanuts!  Bozo was the vehicle for him to spread such a message round the world.

I'm really enjoying another clown coming into my life. My first real taste of theater/show business was interning for Slava's Snowshow and I've been a clown-lover since.  I always thought about clown college (ha!) but as with most training/classes I long for, I cannot afford so freely.  I'll be testing out my first public clown chops at Kitty Nights this Sunday!

Today I'm starting my makeup training with Sephora. Finally!
Am really excited about this. I am trying to get as much as I can out of this company. I know it is not where I want to be forever but right now I am grateful to have something regular and to be learning about something I love.  I've been going back and forth about leaving another regular job I have. Will keep you updated on that. The regular cash will be tough to leave behind but it's just such a drag on me. I need to take my own advice and do what's right for me, my soul!

Thanks for swingin' by today, hope you have a great week! xoxo

Ciao for now,


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