My dream is to be a young vibrant New York city single playin the field and enjoying it til the last drop. With intentions of keeping it casual, my problem is that I enjoy people (in general) and getting to know them so much, I think my enthusiasm scares them off. This is fine by me because the douche bag I probably wasted a lay on doesn't deserve my company anyway!
Since what seems like forever, people have debated whether or not casual relationships are possible. In theory they are, in my opinion, the best idea ever. Having someone to fulfill random moments of loneliness and the need for physical affection, while still having the freedom to look for "the one". (Note: I've put the "the one" in quotes because I'm not sure how I feel about the whole soul mate/monogamy thing. I could still be scarred so my point of view is skewed or I could just be a cougar in the making!)
I think though, that casual relationships take just as much work to avoid developing butterflies as romantic relationships take to keep the butterflies going. I know that I am incredibly sensitive and can only go casual for so long but I like to challenge myself...read: torture myself ha! I've been thinking a lot about it because who I've been spending my time with. He told me of a past lover who was informed to the casual nature their relationship would keep, but that she ended up lashing out wondering why over time he had not changed his mind and wanted to be with her. This seems to be a common issue. This has to be said: casual or not, if your intention is to change your partner over time then you need to find a new one. If you're willing to let someone evolve and take that ride with them, well then you've struck gold possibly! Girls are crazy. I know this. I am one. But I feel confident saying what separates me and girls of the like from the rest of the pack, is that although wild thoughts do cross our minds, we decide not to share or even worse pursue them. The mind is fascinating, I let it do it's thing, and then interject myself when I find necessary.
I like a good challenge. Testing my limits. Watching how a man navigates a relationship. This is all ever-interesting. I'm not ready for monogamy and I can recognize that. I want to develop my self as an individual in hopes of finding someone who has done the same for their self. Until then I'll be hangin with whomever, when I can, and soaking up all the fun things there are to learn about myself and men!
Ok I'm done about this for now, I posted a question on Facebook and some people got in a tizzy. People cannot agree to disagree, it's always about the last word. What I found interesting though is that people gave me resources about pursuing poly-amorous relationships. I've never been interested in this. I know, for me, if I am in a romantic relationship I need to have no one else involved. I am not strong enough to share ha!
Oh gees, time to start another week! Where does the time go? If you missed Meat My Friends this past Saturday, it was amazing. Had a great show with a great audience, it really couldn't have gone better. This whole trial phase is awesome to see what works, and get feedback from show-goers. Overall, everyone had a blast. That is awesome to hear. Waiting on the next date, stay tuned!!
Have a great week!
Ciao for now,