Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Tuesday with Friends of Tassels: #1

I am so excited to share with you the first guest post I received. It was SO interesting to hear from someone living a completely different life than I am. I tip my hat to them for being so open. I endlessly appreciate the honesty...If you're interested in posting please send any submissions to TinaTassels@gmail.com
I hope you enjoy the read and PLEASE comment below. Hopefully your fellow reader can get some incite, comfort, or just have something to read while bored at work ha!

"About a month ago I found out what a blog was and started reading yours I love it! I read your new posts but I've been going backwards reading some old ones. I really like the one where you wrote about your fam's discovery of you doing Burlesque and I want to vent about one of the comments you made. You talk about parents that want their children to live the "normal" life...house in the suburbs, married, etc.

I used to think that was the norm too until I started living it. To be brutally honest living this life I've never felt more like an outcast in my life. Talking to old friends and people I grew up with, I feel like life long friends have nothing in common and/or can't relate to me anymore. Since when did living in the burbs with your wife, cat, dog and baby make you the minority? Is it just me that feels this way or do all people in their late 20's early 30's feel uncomfortable with their situations? Should I just chalk it up to me thinking that the grass is greener on the other side or is our society changing? Is the new hipster/outcast image becoming the 30 year old husband and wife couple pushing their baby through the park? Living in the bubble I live in, my acquaintances and I feel we are, for the first time, looking at the world from the outside-in. Let's discuss. - Anonymous"


  1. I loved reading this. I'm always wondering what people in my hometown and the like (even some of my best friends) really feel like. Not that I think they'd throw it all away but maybe wish they had waited, did something differently or ever do think they made a mistake. I don't think it's hard to preserve relationships with friends as you get older but I do think it's harder to maintain the friendship you've had UNLESS your lives are moving at a similar pace.

    I realize my best friends are the ones that even if I don't get to see or talk to them often I feel like it was yesterday we were hanging out. When someone gets married and/or moves away and/or has kids there is - no matter how much mutual support is present - something HUGE separating you, your thought processes, and ultimately your priorities. I think time and understanding are the true tests of friendship not that "we've been through so much" mumbo jumbo.

  2. When I turned 25 I went through a huge "quarter-life crisis." To me it felt like I was rapidly approaching or, in some groups, had already missed that point where adulthood kicked in and I needed to start managing my priorities differently. Not that I had to run out get married and have a baby, but that I needed to start working on a steady job with benefits and retirement. A place where I could start saving for the not so distant future where I might want to buy a house and "settle down." But then I realized, that's not me. It's funny, because in my group I'm the minority. Most of my friends/relatives around my age and even younger are either married or engaged. On weekends when I'm trying to figure out what to do with my time they're putting offers in on a house and taking the kids to amusement parks. I send out invites to stuff I'm doing and find that the big group of supporters I once had has dwindled down to maybe one or two because everyone else lives so far away now or can't find a babysitter or has to get up early the next day for work. These are all the same people who used to stay out until 4am and roll into work at 9 the next morning without batting an eye.

    I think it's all about timing. If you find someone that your ready to spend the rest of your life with at a younger age, that's perfectly okay. To be honest, as much as I don't feel I'm ready for the house and baby, when the right person comes along and I factor them into my life who knows how that will change my priorities? I realize this doesn't help your feelings of being the minority, but I hope it helps to know that I feel the exact same way and my life is completely different from yours and Tina's. Most of us don't have a clue what we want. You knew and you went out and got it. That's a pretty big accomplishment. Kudos to you!

    Thanks for sharing. It was nice to get a totally different perspective on something I've been struggling with for years.

  3. Love the honesty here. I find it interesting that people on different ends of the spectrum feel the same way: alone! I feel that's the common situation in our culture. People feel lonely when in relationships and when they're not in relationships, when they live in the city or in the country, if they have babies or if they don't. Part of me really believes that we all have a craving for authentic, honest communication that just doesn't happen enough. We're soul starved for connection. Am I talking in circles?