It's Showtime!

Be there an hour early, bring a robe, don't forget your music. THAT'S IT! Those were our last instructions. *bites nails*

Sooo..here's the video.

Each time I press play and hear my friends chanting I've started to cry ha! I am incredibly overwhelmed by the support  including that from those who couldn't make the show. 

Friday was AMAZING. My fellow classmates left me speechless:

Charlie Gun - like her here

Evelyn Vinyl - like her here

Raven Twin - like her here

Sincerely Yours - find her here

Iris Explosion - find her here

Our Gorgeous Stage Kitten & fellow performer: Franny Fluffer - find her here

Our Co-host & fellow performer: Jonny Porkpie - like him here
And last but most d efinitely not least, our head mistress, hostess with the mostess: Jo Boobs Weldon - LOVE her & her book here

All day I was fine until I started having a stomach ache due to nerves.  As I've said many a time, I haven't performed anything in years. Especially not solo. (That was probably a piano recital when I was about 11years old.)  We did a quick run through on stage to make sure our music was working and to get a feel for the space. I forgot my routine and could barely hear the music. OMG! I was so  freaked out that my concentration was off, this only put me in more of a panic.

I ended up being the 2nd to last performer. I think it was a good thing because by the time I had to go on my hands stopped shaking and my heart calmed down. My friends were there in abundance, which at first worked against my angst, but eventually kept my spirits high as hell! I felt good on stage and didn't want it to end. My left boob refused to twirl backstage, I'm pretty sure it had a mini-stroke, by the looks of the video though it seemed to wake up just in time for twirling! That made me feel SO good! I obviously take pride in my twirls haha!

After each dancer was finished Jo Boobs had us come back on stage and chatted with us a bit. I thought it was hilarious walking out in hot pants and tassels "out of character". A friend of mine, JT (not Justin Timberlake ha!), asked on my facebook page, "...was it more nerve wracking to dance or to stand there at the end and chat in not much clothing?" I immediately answered to chat and she had assumed it was because of my lack of clothing in comparison to the over dressed audience. It definitely wasn't the nudity. 

I've become more (and am still becoming) comfortable with that part. Frankly, every morning I've been making it a point to enjoy my nude body in morning lite streaming through my sheer curtains (yum! what a scene I've set up for you..) I look in the mirror and think "god, I look really good to hold." (does that even make sense? hahah) I shit you not. It's that whole positive affirmation thing. It helps - try it out asap! Take at least a few minutes daily to enjoy you & only you.
So, as I said above, it was walking back onto stage as regular ol' Tina wearing a funny costume. I immediately answered the question with a joke because I was too nervous to be serious. Nervous in the sense that my heart was pounding post-performance, and I was feeling shaky from the adrenaline. I've never really been scared of public speaking but I'm pretty sure I lost some of that courage along the way too.

Jo's first question for each performer was, "what inspired you to be here?" In a past blog I've said that one of my biggest fears is being taken seriously and that following and fulfilling dreams is terrifying. I'm not sure why. It's partially a fear of rejection & partially a fear of what happens after you reach a goal.(silly, right?)
I wanted to tell the audience that for most of my life I've been dying to be on a stage but just couldn't keep my chin up in the pursuit. If in the middle of my high school career, you would have asked me where I saw myself at 27, I would have quickly replied I'd be living in NYC and working on Broadway...I'm half way there? ha!

Well now it's over.
In addition to feeling relieved, I'm excited to get working on a new act. It was gonna be my first but I was so overwhelmed I couldn't go that far. I was too scared, but now I'm ready!! Full speed ahead...I'll have to work on getting booked. Going to shows, looking for castings, anyway really to get my face & name out there.

It's only been 2 days since my only show and I feel like I've been doing it for years..not because I have a big head about it but because it just felt SO good to be back out there. I hope to parlay this energy & rising confidence into other auditions. I know I'd love to do hosting gigs. I think I'd be great at it after a couple of goes and it'd be a perfect way to give pseudo stand-up comedy a try too!  *Fingers crossed*

Before I go, I want to be completely honest...pictures are being posted from the show, I too am sharing them, but I will not pretend that it's not tough looking at them and not comparing myself to the other girls around me. My boobs are triple in size and therefore tripled in weight. My one thigh is the size of Jo Boobs' entire body. Blah blah blah. I'm doing my best to look beyond the photo and reminding myself what a wonderful, much needed experience the classes & show night were. Phew! I'm glad I got that off my chest.

My favorite part(s): Being on stage FINALLY! And in close 2nd is being backstage with ma girls!

The hardest part(s): Feeling 100% ready. Confidence is KEY to a good performance, I know for sure I have it in here somewhere I just need to find it!!
What I learned: To fucking werk. it. out. and enjoy every second!

I have another Burlesque Bikini Boot camp class on Wednesday and am looking forward to sweating! Stay warm readers <3

Ciao for now,
TT

PS: Here I am as a snowlady at the Holiday Bazaar sporting my It's a Little Hat by Little Stormy! I had to wear pasties (homemade out of coffee filters btw, shhh) so I didnt offend anyone ;)