I just put the coffee on..

Good Morning! It's Sunday, I can't feel my legs and it's awesome!

I know I've been MIA for a bit. It's the norm. When I'm feeling anxious or nervous about things I'm not the type to freak out, running around like a chicken without a head, but rather I keep quiet, keep indoors, and eat meals alone. Leave me alone, ha!

Why am I feeling anxious you ask?
Maybe it's because I'M PRODUCING MY FIRST EVER LIVE SHOW AND AM FREAKING OUT!?#$@
I was also mentally preparing for an audition for a VH1 & Suicide Girls collaboration for a reality tv show!

So, the audition was yesterday and it's why I can't feel my legs!  It was SO much fun. I showed up and there were 1/2 naked skinny fake-baked chicks dancing in every corner. Immediately I was nervous. After checking in I changed into my costume sans dress and strutted my shit in a lacey full body stocking (my new fave accessory), highwaisted panties (ha! there's that word again) and a lace bra with my leopard pasties ready to go. I told myself if I'm gonna start doing these things, I'm gonna do them 100% committed. I checked in and got my number.

The entire process was quite unorganized. From the emails not having location/time details to my having to make it clear several times that there are new girls showing up and we haven't been taught the routine yet.  I expected more girls to be there but it was just under 100 of us. Finally the choreographer came back down we were taught a short routine of a few 8counts to the chorus of Rhianna's S&M. It felt really good to not only be dancing but learning specific steps, counting, etc...I've missed this since my cheerleading days ended.

At one point a producer came in, cleared the stage where everyone was practicing and asked who knows about the Suicide Girls brand and wants to talk a bit about it?  About 10 girls went to the front and waited for their on camera interview. I was sitting and texting when I heard "Number 79, come here for a second," It was the producer waving me over...

Prod.: I have to say, you caught my eye just sitting there. Frankly these girls are smaller than you, how are you so comfortable being voluptuous in a room like this?
Me: Honestly, I was ready to leave about 5mins ago for that exact reason. I think I've just come to a point where I'm sick of feeling uncomfortable, so I'm still here!

We proceeded to chat about suicide girls, fetishes, and what I do. My interview ended with me singing "Happy Birthday" as Marilyn Monroe. HAHAHA! I didn't sign any release forms so I don't think it's legal for them to air it but it could land in front of the right eyes. You never know!  My audition went as well as it could. Most girls, even the best dancers, forgot the routine and ended up free-styling longer than the 15seconds they asked for. My free-styling consisted of some teasing then removing my bra and twirling for the panel of VH1 & Suicide Girls producers. Hooray! Overall their use of "burlesque" in the casting information should be censored. It was definitely a search for an alternative group of Pussycat Doll-like girls. The didn't ask for singing as part of the auditions process but a form we filled out did ask what kind of a singer you were on a scale of 1-10. Although, the girls that were asked to stay behind were NOT the girls I would have ever imagined being picked. Reality TV is strange in that way, you just never know what they're looking for!

Overall I had a wonderful experience and it was a personal boost to keep going to more auditions. I met some super talented NY dancer/performers that are going into the "MEAT MY FRIENDS" rolodex.  What is that you newbies might be asking? Meat My Friends is my endeavor to showcase the talented people I already know and am meeting along the way. The 1st installment is happening IN 2 WEEKS!!  All the info can be found on the facebook invite! It's an easy commute from Manhattan so don't be scared!  Bring your friends, ride the ferry, enjoy a night of UNofficially themed "Breaking our Cabin Fevers" burlesque, live music by Big Daddy Deluxe, all being emceed by Staten Island's main man Jay Miller!

Mark your calendars for Saturday, March 19, Doors at 10p, $10, at Full Cup
There will be raffles to be won and go-go girls to enjoy with the band!
I cannot anticipate a greater first show to produce. I've got so many ideas in the works and scouting venues to host at. This is, what I hope, the beginning of a really exciting year. I thought last year was great but I think this one might top it!

Tomorrow night I am kittening for the first time!! I never really offered to do it because the thought of it made me really nervous. It's much easier, contrary to what you might think, to dance around and strip than to stand on stage scantily clad bending over picking things up. Ha! All the over-the-top awesome show details are here! Honored to share the stage for the first time with Clams Casino! She is part of the glorious, hot bodied troupe: Dangerous Curves Ahead: Burlesque on the Go-Go!

I've been working on a costume that was inspired more by the trim I found than anything else. It's pink, bright, glorious pink. AND WHITE! Not black. Cray cray right? I'm in love with it and am trying to figure out when and why to wear it outside of my living room. Also in the works is a new routine. I can't seem to pin down the right music!

Off to listen to tunes til my ears bleed and I feel inspired once again. Thanks again for reading. Things have been up and down lately. I've been looking for a steadier day job to pay for my night job. Hopefully something is coming through this week! *fingers crossed* for all things good for both me and you :)

Ciao for now,
TT