I think the line between confidence and clingy has become thinner. Only because guys are having to deal more and more with the latter. I had faith that with age things would be much "cooler" when it came to casual relationships but I'm finding that guys still shut down and shut you out due to what I think is a fear that we're getting too close. Well boys, get over yourselves and girls get a fucking grip!
I got sorta pissed off thinking about my last lover. I only mentioned him briefly here. He doesn't live in NY and our great night happened within a few weeks of when he would be leaving. I was sorta bummed because we never hung out after that. I got a clue once I heard (and read) his shift in tone. (PS: That's always the key. If girls listened more, they'd know the exact point at which their relationship changed).
Anyway, we chatted a bit here and there, I saw him out, but I was still left hangin. I'm not sure if he felt like I was being clingy or something, but all I wanted from him was to get naked and makeout again. I wasn't trying to make a movie date or even coffee! Your first reaction is probably to say, "aww, Tina, that means he didn't even wanna hook up with you again". That's malarkey because we've kept in contact (he'll be back in NY in a few months) and I'd bet what little money I have that we'll be bumpin uglies.
My lover (I totally enjoying calling him that) came up in conversation while chatting with a good friend of mine. He was telling me a story about a mutual girlfriend of ours and how CRAZY she was reacting to a guy not spending the night at her place. Long story short, her asking for "advice" was more of a whiny "But whhyyyy? What does it mean? Did I do this wrong?" etc...Meanwhile in both our opinions the guy was very clear and honest about his intentions for the night with no hidden motives. So after all this, my conversation friend brought up the Koala. He described her in the image of those koala bear clip-on toys. Remember those?
What I liked most about the reference he described is how lacking in self-awareness it is! We commented on how girls get emotionally clingy to someone so new and then when things go, in her eyes, questionably she freaks out. She becomes self-deprecating and immediately throws all confidence out the window. This happens with ALL sorts of girls. Ages, shapes, sizes, background. I can assure you. But what makes me bitter of recent, is that Koalas are fucking up mine and the rest of the keep-our-cool single girls' chances at repeat, no-strings-attached quality sexy time with a potential new friend!
I know girls aren't 100% to blame though, guys have to start loosening up about this too! I understand you react based on past experiences but c'mon it's 2011! You are potentially spending time with a new breed of single girl that is having fun and trying not to put pressure on anything in her life really no matter what her age. I'm not equating her to promiscuity (even if she's getting down like that) but I am saying you need to stop assuming Koalas are all that's left. There are some (lots, more than you think) Kittens roaming around that are just trying to play with some yarn. Know what I'm saying? Ha!
My bitterness is at a high because I'm feeling needy. Lonely even. But just for the record I'd rather stay like this and work through it while waiting for someone great to spend my time with.
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday! I am so looking forward to family time and eating like a King. Thanks again for stopping by!
Ciao for now,
PS: Next week's post will have an updated list of show dates! I have 3 holiday gigs AND I'm doing someone's show for the first time! Woohooo! My December went from 1 show to 5!