Last week I closed my blog saying that I might be ending things with my lover. Well I'm not, not just yet anyway. I'm in the "it's better to have someone to call than no one" state of mind right now. This has been my life though. Not having a serious relationship in my 28 years of existence, I've relied on casual relationships. Anybody that wanted to spend some time with me. (Not just anybody, but you know what I mean!)
The thread is getting thinner though. I'm not a good fake it til you make it girl. I'd rather just not talk to you anymore. Last time we hung out was irritating. I was probably PMSing, the subway wasn't working, it was SO hot outside, I was waiting around on the streets after a long day of work, and I was irked that we weren't going back to my place since my roommate was away the entire weekend..I just wanted to go home. I should have went home, but I didn't. I felt bad bailing, but now I've learned my lesson because it really put a damper on our thing. He seems clueless though.
After that last hang sess, I pretty much avoided his calls for 2 weeks. Oopsies, I didn't get to my phone in time. Oopsies, I'm already asleep. Oopsies, I'm washing my hair. Oopsies, ignore. You get the idea. After all that, the boy keeps calling, and keeps leaving sweet messages without including so much as a "hope everything is ok...haven't heard from you". This was cracking me up. I figured since I've simmered down I'll give it another go. Perhaps in a better mood but still not being able to shake how annoyed I felt by him that night. I really didn't feel like talking to him, let alone sleeping with him but I did both. As much as I could have fell asleep on his couch watching Friends, I got up and did my duty. By the way, the sex wasn't a percentage of how exciting it usually is because my head was just clouded. Frankly, I couldn't wait for it to be over so I could get in a solid night's sleep before working again. So it ended, he played his bass, I passed out.
Morning came and I took a shower and got ready as usual but this time I didn't go back down to his room and kiss his head good bye. That was a sign. We'll see what happens..
Ciao for now,