Fool Me

Saturday night I met Zander with a Z. A 39 year old, who was in town from LA on an audition. While his buddy danced with a rando girl to 90s hiphop, him and I chatted away the post-midnight hours. He was cute and pretty hilarious and definitely a few drinks deeper than I.

I came in from having a smoke and had to scoot my chair back in as I had a new neighbor at the bar.
Z: What's with the outfit?
TT: I was working a jazzy fundraiser. What's with your outfit?

After some bullshitting about stand up comedy, sex in NYC and east coast vs west coast he got to business.
Z: So are we going to your place or my friend's couch where I'm staying?
TT: I'm not going anywhere.
Z: Really? (Turns towards me) I thought I was pretty good...(I smiled) ...so nothing?
TT: I'm not going anywhere, but I'd  hang here and makeout. Just relax, ya know?
Z: (looks away and folds his arms)
TT: Man, I'm pretty easy but ya gotta give me something.You were charming but you've barely looked at me with your face or body language and now I'm supposed to leave with you?! Be cool man, you shoulda at least fooled me a little more.
Z: What is it you want?
TT: I want it all.
Z: We all do.
TT: What do you want?
Z: I just wanna be happy.

We laughed for a bit more then Z left with his friend. I wondered what my problem was for like 5minutes, I could have had fresh manttention from a dude I thought was pretty cool.  I was 1 part nervous, 1 part annoyed, 2 parts unshaven legs and 3 parts knowing that I didn't feel like wasting energy on what only promised to be a mediocre hook up.

When I said to fool me, I meant it. Make a woman feel sexy and you'll reap the benefits. Don't guys know this? Peanuts! Sheesh.

Ciao for now,

TT

I'm here again...

ugh. I'm having this battle with myself again. My costume isn't up to par for this new act so I feel like crap about performing it. I don't have the time or funds to do TOO much to it. Grrrrrr!! That aside I AM looking forward to performing. It's still 2 week away but since Bettie Page Clothing's "Bettie on the Bowery" party I've only hosted so strippin will be a huge treat!

It's funny how easy it is to give advice to the women I have the pleasure of styling all day but I can't take it myself. Simply stated: you could be wearing the best dress in the room but if you don't feel right in it, your attitude will ruin it all. It works the other way around too. Even if I can't have the costume I dream of right now, I can still give a great performance. This is a constant issue for me though, I can't seem to pep myself up so I need to work on it way more!!

On the boy note: I started to receive messages from an old something-or-other after about 6 months of barely any contact and I deflected all his flirty advances! Me-1 Him-still way ahead of me, but it's little victories! haha. Today I had a moment though and was thinking about how much I say him, he, his. I had to sit back and begin changing the way I talk about what I want out of a relationship. I always say I would have loved him more than anyone, but there was no one to love me back. Now I'm looking ahead for that 50/50 relationship I always preach about!

The sun has been shining, it 's making the days wonderful!! I hope you're doing well and eagerly awaiting Spring like me :)

Ciao for now,

TT

What relationship are YOU in?

First of all, I'm this close [------] to pulling the plug on OkCupid. Guys are just as big pussies on there as they can be in real life and frankly I'm not impressed by the buffet either. I prefer the one in NJ near my parents' house....mmm, crab legs!

That said, this past weekend I had the much needed pleasure of seeing some old hometown friends and celebrating a 30th birthday. A girlfriend of mine and I (on our high single-girl horses) got into a great discussion about how 2 people in the same relationship can be on 2 completely different pages & even - for joke's sake - reading different books!

It occurred to us how many people, our friends included, are either blissfully ignorant, merely selfish assholes, or have such awful self-esteem they stay in relationships they know are doomed.  Not only that they are doomed but that they are unhealthy for both parties in the present.

I think my favorite quote so far is: "Well we either break up or I propose."

Crazy right? But it seems to happen all the time!! There's only so much you can even tell a friend of how wrong they are or how they're behavior is toxic and will eventually only make things worse. People turn a blind eye, in this case they start plugging their ears.

I get it, people are scared of being alone or they'd rather be in a mediocre relationship than...wait, I DON'T get it actually. Not anymore, maybe when we were teenagers, but what sort of life are you trying to live in our few years we have to spare on this earth?! And what sort of life are you trying to make for your partner who is investing their time as well? I'm so confused.

Picture it: a beautiful big home, each their own quality car, healthy pets, a beautiful garden, bills paid on time...they have it all right? Then, peeking inside the window you have partnerA sitting on a computer playing video games and at the other end of the house is partnerB watching tv. I can't stand it. I know someone is gonna be a smart ass and say "but they're happy"...are they? is this what their life is like for the next 30years? I'll pass.

I wanna be present. I wanna be in love. I wanna be happy....so far, so good!

Ciao for now,

TT

PS: Work has been hectic, great, but hectic!

SHOW THINGS:
THIS SATURDAY, March 9 - Webster Hall -  Coney Island Spring Gala  I haven't been to this awesome party and this year I get to dress cute and sell raffle tickets!

Monday, March 25 - La Flaca - Broadway Brassy's Temple of theVirgins! Cannot wait, it's been some time that I've performed so I'm really looking forward to it! I'm pretty sure it's gonna be something new!

Thursday, April 11 - Metropolitan Room - Notorious P.O.P. returns! I get to play emcee while Angelo turns out a pop cabaret like no other! With the added guest performances, the room is overflowing with talent!!