Is it my biological clock? Is it just the PMS? Is it the sweet nothings this dude so casually says? Is it seeing my friend's baby? ...or is it just what I've always wanted?
I think as a teenager most girls envision their 30 year old self married with kids...am I right? I don't know where I was living, who I was really with or what I was doing career wise, but I know I also had an Oscar hahaha...oh, teenage dreams!
I've been making lots of jokes referencing pregnancy, marriage, and kids. They're concocted of 1 part bitterness, 1 part confusion, 1 part repulsion, and 1 part "WHERE IS HE?!" (said in the Charlotte from SATC tone obvi) I made a big shift last year in convincing myself that I was worthy of not only dating, but also of love from a good man. I used to make all sorts of excuses of why I wasn't datable and now that I know (most days anyway), that I am deserving of all good things including love & family & a future with someone, it's making my mind go bonkers!! My head is even overflowing with ways to make my apartment more of a home. What the hell is going on? I'm sorta freaking out. I'm pretty broke, still single even though seeing someone, don't have matching furniture and keep thinking I'll be that single modern woman that buys a baby all on her own...which I'm not against for the record, but not exactly what I'm dreaming of. See! Without even realizing it, my final thought was baby. Dang.
So just like the rest of my whining posts, we finish open ended...
I have no idea what it is I want exactly, but I know what I don't want. That's a start!
Ciao for now,
PS: This Saturday at Cobra Club in BK, we're celebrating 1 year of Slapback!