I used to constantly say I wasn't ready for a relationship because I didn't exactly have my career set up, I couldn't afford to live on my own, and I was still "figuring things out". Then I realized NO, I didn't have to have all of those ducks in a row to be a candidate for love; that I was able to still work on those things if I did happen to meet someone willing to take the ride with me. I'm realizing more and more that so many people have all of those important things polished and new but their relationships are suffering because the partners have given up on themselves as individuals.
You know the white picket fence, green grass, 2 kids, etc...but mommy & daddy barely talk, or the boyfriend & girlfriend who on those nights alone aren't really alone. I'm kinda freaking out. Ok, I'm gonna shift.... (it's my blog, I can do whatever I want!) That working on the self topic might come next week. Lots of things floating in my head regarding the individual vs. the couple.
I'm kinda having a weird freaking out/trust issue thing going on. How much can you judge someone in comparison to their friends? BEFORE YOU ANSWER, THINK ABOUT IT! I sat for a second, in judgement, I admit it. Against my will. But my dude's friends do some questionable things on a regular basis. Sunday was the first time I left not feeling good about myself or the idea of us. NOTE: There is NO good reason for it, but it was my gut. I thought about how trusting I can be if he surrounds himself with certain types of people. I started to survey my friends and I. We are all really different and don't always agree on some really important things but these differences are what make our circle interesting and I believe, long lasting. I think it is different situation when it comes to a relationship dynamic, but I am worrying to say the least. The stress of not seeing him is definitely a factor, my trust issues (THAT I'VE HONESTLY NEVER HAD BEFORE) are surfacing. He again, said all the right things and is still kind as ever, I don't know. Something about a certain interaction of his was rubbing me the wrong way. FML.
This is why I stay single.
Ciao for now,
See you out this week?
Thursday night - The Peacock Party
Saturday - Burlesque Bombshells