RELAPSE (said like Missy Elliot’s Reeeemix!!)

Whatever.

I had a GREAT weekend. Saturday night, my girl Chelsea Nenni (singer from Honey & The Misbehavers) and I got last minute tickets to see ARETHA FRANKLIN at Radio City. 

What whaaaat! Post show we wandered around a bit and called it quits around almost 1am. I was a little tipsy & high on life but feeling needy obviously. I texted my dude knowing he’d be done work soon and I’d be walking in that direction to catch my train. How convenient UNIVERSE!!

We had a drink and it was so nice. He was the guy I was dating. I’m not delusional and not doing another 180 - don’t worry - but that said we had a really good night of catching up with no distractions.

Sunday was spent in WillyB (ew! hahah tha phrase ) with 2 of my girlfriends/ex-coworkers from Tatyana Boutique (formerly Bettie Page Clothing on Bowery). We had AMAZING brunch at Brooklyn Star (seriously, start with the donut plate appetizer for the table) and enjoy some Bloody Bulls. I die. We headed over to Slapback to play dress up!

And finally, last night I went to see Calamity Chang's Say My Name show at the Slipper Room. I'm trying to get back into my habit of at least 1 show a week. Seeing friends & performances keeps your spirits up and your gears turning! I also got to enjoy some "face time" with Gal Friday. One of the first performers I ever saw and said I wanna do THAT.

Thanks for the amazing picture Lilin!!

I hope you have a great week! This warm weather gets me pumped up!

Ciao for now,

TT

Like in a movie...

I completely forgot it was Tuesdee!

I slept so poorly last night 1 part heartache (not to be confused with heartburn) 1 part moving/money stress & 1 part eating 3 hot dogs. HA! Either way, it was shit and I am tired Tina!

Saw my dude on Friday – it was a last straw attempt to see how we were. I’d rather not go into detail about what you’ve missed because it’s not really my business to tell. I hadn’t seen him in weeks though.

After 1 drink with him and his friends after work (it was already around 3am), I used the ladies room and came back to the table announcing I was gonna go. He, without hesitation said, “I wanna go with you.” I guess I didn’t realize how long I had paused but he immediately put his hands up in surrender and said “only if you feel comfortable.”

I chose my words wisely: I really want you to come, but I don’t think you should.

I gave him a hug and that was it. He didnt even look me in the eye. Its probably better that way. I walked down the sidewalk slower than usual hoping he might come after me. Like in a movie, but he 

didn’t.

I went to get in a cab and the driver shared that his card machine wasn’t working. I had to get out because I didn’t have enough cash. I dreamed that maybe it was meant to be. That he might have changed his mind and if the universe put me in that cab I wouldn’t have known. I smoked a cigarette. Give him more time, I thought. Nothing. 

I walked myself to the subway.

You never really know how hurt you feel until youre around the person causing it. I felt SO vulnerable. I barely spoke, I barely looked him in the face, and when he held my hand I felt foolish and slowly slipped it out of his. Damn the universe. I know this is bigger than the both of us but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Ciao for now,

TT

I am fighting!

I love my new job.

It is making my summer outlook SO bright. I feel less likely to miss out on things unless I’m being flaky or lazy, ya know…the usual.

I work in showbiz and plan to for the rest of my life in any capacity. Behind the camera, in front of it (preferably), behind the mic, etc…I truly love the industry and have a passion for honing careers. I met G-Eazy yesterday…if you don’t know who he is you will really soon. This kid is about to get huge. He’s an entertainer and I look forward to watching his celebrity grow. Oh and he’s fucking adorable. (As I'm writing this I realized I mentioned him last week HA! True love.)

Housing Update: I am fighting! Since the beginning I felt like I was ok in my situation but – like lots of tenants – you wonder if it’s worth the fight so you just move out and on even when you don’t have to! I wasn’t planning on moving and now look forward to staying & redecorating my bathroom. Ha!  Everyone has been so helpful with resources & offering services/info PRO-BONO! I love you guys.

Dude update: I miss him. He hasn’t been reaching out and it bums me out. I told my girlfriend all I really want from him is to hear “when can I see you,” and I haven’t yet. I guess another one down the drain. What can I do…

And please spare me any bad mouthing you deserve better crap. Everyone deserves better, in fact, the best!

The Peacock Party at Duane Park last week was a blast. The cast was probably the best backstage company I’ve been around in a while! I’m not feeling the best about my body now seeing the pictures though (By Eric Kun - they're SO beautiful). I feel like I gained some stress weight in my 30days-straight-of-work challenge. Booooooo! It’ll go away but I’m feeling extra puffy and unattractive. Annoying.

OMG! I also played emcee at The Triad which was SO much fun. The audience was incredible and it was a benefit for the Global Fund for Women to aid in the Bring Back Our Girls campaign <3

Enjoy the warm weather – I’m having a date with CalamityChang tonight!

Ciao for now,

TT