Tuesday, October 15, 2013

This Game We Play?

I'm going a little kookoo. In private, but now I'm sharing it with you. I am thinking WAY too much about someone that is seemingly conflicted. What I'm about to tell you, you may judge me for, but that's your problem not mine. I'd rather just be honest.

The first time I mentioned this guy I wrapped up by saying I felt like he had some sort of long distance thing going on. He never directly mentioned it but in conversation the girl he spoke of didn't seem like such an ex. The other night, while I was enjoying a drink at his place of work, we befriended a Texan couple and at one point during conversation he said the lady and I.  Later that night he met the Texan couple and I at another venue for a nightcap. I was a few drinks deep but became even more giddy when he arrived. He sat down and comfy, but before the night went on I very directly asked "Do you have a girlfriend? Long distance or something going on?" (it was very loud in the place and frankly I didn't really care but I wanted to clear it up and enjoy the rest of the night)
Him: Yes.
Me: OK, I just want to clarify what I'm potentially getting myself into. You haven't exactly hid it but you never came out and mentioned it.
Him: Yeah. - shuffling to put his bag under the table) It might not be so long distance pretty soon.
Me: Got it. And that's fine, I'd rather just know. I think you're funny, and charming, and cute, and I would just like to enjoy some time with you because I think it's great.
Him: Me too, that's what I think about you. I don't make out in public though (I had texted him hurry up I wanna makeout haha!)
Me: That's fine I was just teasing, but 1 kiss?
Another one?

We sat quiet for a bit after the Texans left and sipped our drinks. My recollection is a bit fuzzy over the rest of conversation, but once again I know he said - while looking away - "I need to figure some things out." He put me in a cab, one last smooch and that was it. That was Thursday night. I texted him Saturday to come eat Chinese food, this is more of a bat signal that I was thinking about him. I didn't expect him to come or even to reply, but I haven't heard from him since that night out. I'll be leaving it up to him now. I'm having a hard time gauging how much I'm allowed to enjoy this.

I know some of you are thinking I'm awful for still wanting to pursue this even after admitting having a girlfriend. Some of you think I'm wasting time for one reason or another and some of you might just wanna know what's gonna happen next -if anything- like me!

Honestly I'd be curious to hear from a straight guy's POV.

Ciao for now,



  1. Hi Tina :)

    I'm so happy to have found your blog. I have learned a lot about the dating scene since my divorce 5 years ago but the biggest thing I've learned... As women we don't have to do much to know how a man feels about us. His actions tell all. How fast does he follow up after seeing you to see you again? Does he plan a date? etc.. I think we always think that maybe the guy we are seeing is the exception so we make excuses for him. "Maybe he's really busy?" "Maybe he's shy?" "Maybe he just needs time to figure out what he wants?"
    All of those excuses just lead us into a direction of heart ache as we hold onto someone that has captured our attention (because those guys don't come around too often do they?) We look for answers, that we want to hear.

    I don't presume to know you or the situation that you are in but I do know how it feels to be unsure. To want more from someone that refuses to give it to you (for one reason or another). It's tough. It hurts.

    I hope that this all works out for you. Anything meant to be will never pass you by. <3


    1. I agree with you 100%. Perhaps that's the hardest part of all of this. The advice I'd give to someone in my position is not the advice I want to take. I also never believe anyone is the exception. I think that's pretty sad though. I'm a believer in the impossible for everyone except myself!

      Thanks for reading and writing Kim <3

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  3. I should clarify: i'm a believer in the impossible for everyone except myself WHEN IT COMES TO MEN!

  4. Tina,

    I've searched many a website and self help book for answers to what my next step should be regarding a man. Some of the best advice I've heard comes from a man named Evan Marc Katz. Check him out if you have a chance.
    It's taken me a while to understand that all the RIGHT things for me are possible but i'm stubborn and think that all my decisions are right for me :)
    I'm glad to share what I've learned. Will it guarantee a man in my life?.. wait let me look to see if there's one here... nope, still single :) but it sure has taken a lot of uncertainty and worry away.
    Keep repeating to yourself "I am open to love"