I'm going a little kookoo. In private, but now I'm sharing it with you. I am thinking WAY too much about someone that is seemingly conflicted. What I'm about to tell you, you may judge me for, but that's your problem not mine. I'd rather just be honest.
The first time I mentioned this guy I wrapped up by saying I felt like he had some sort of long distance thing going on. He never directly mentioned it but in conversation the girl he spoke of didn't seem like such an ex. The other night, while I was enjoying a drink at his place of work, we befriended a Texan couple and at one point during conversation he said the lady and I. Later that night he met the Texan couple and I at another venue for a nightcap. I was a few drinks deep but became even more giddy when he arrived. He sat down and comfy, but before the night went on I very directly asked "Do you have a girlfriend? Long distance or something going on?" (it was very loud in the place and frankly I didn't really care but I wanted to clear it up and enjoy the rest of the night)
Me: OK, I just want to clarify what I'm potentially getting myself into. You haven't exactly hid it but you never came out and mentioned it.
Him: Yeah. - shuffling to put his bag under the table) It might not be so long distance pretty soon.
Me: Got it. And that's fine, I'd rather just know. I think you're funny, and charming, and cute, and I would just like to enjoy some time with you because I think it's great.
Him: Me too, that's what I think about you. I don't make out in public though (I had texted him hurry up I wanna makeout haha!)
Me: That's fine I was just teasing, but 1 kiss?
We sat quiet for a bit after the Texans left and sipped our drinks. My recollection is a bit fuzzy over the rest of conversation, but once again I know he said - while looking away - "I need to figure some things out." He put me in a cab, one last smooch and that was it. That was Thursday night. I texted him Saturday to come eat Chinese food, this is more of a bat signal that I was thinking about him. I didn't expect him to come or even to reply, but I haven't heard from him since that night out. I'll be leaving it up to him now. I'm having a hard time gauging how much I'm allowed to enjoy this.
I know some of you are thinking I'm awful for still wanting to pursue this even after admitting having a girlfriend. Some of you think I'm wasting time for one reason or another and some of you might just wanna know what's gonna happen next -if anything- like me!
Honestly I'd be curious to hear from a straight guy's POV.
Ciao for now,