Keeping it Casual

My dream is to be a young vibrant New York city single playin the field and enjoying it til the last drop. With intentions of keeping it casual, my problem is that I enjoy people (in general) and getting to know them so much, I think my enthusiasm scares them off. This is fine by me because the douche bag I probably wasted a lay on doesn't deserve my company anyway!

Since what seems like forever, people have debated whether or not casual relationships are possible. In theory they are, in my opinion, the best idea ever. Having someone to fulfill random moments of loneliness and the need for physical affection, while still having the freedom to look for "the one". (Note: I've put the "the one" in quotes because I'm not sure how I feel about the whole soul mate/monogamy thing.  I could still be scarred so my point of view is skewed or I could just be a cougar in the making!)

I think though, that casual relationships take just as much work to avoid developing butterflies as romantic relationships take to keep the butterflies going.  I know that I am incredibly sensitive and can only go casual for so long but I like to challenge myself...read: torture myself ha! I've been thinking a lot about it because who I've been spending my time with. He told me of a past lover who was informed to the casual nature their relationship would keep, but that she ended up lashing out wondering why over time he had not changed his mind and wanted to be with her.  This seems to be a common issue. This has to be said: casual or not, if your intention is to change your partner over time then you need to find a new one. If you're willing to let someone evolve and take that ride with them, well then you've struck gold possibly!  Girls are crazy. I know this. I am one. But I feel confident saying what separates me and girls of the like from the rest of the pack, is that although wild thoughts do cross our minds, we decide not to share or even worse pursue them.  The mind is fascinating, I let it do it's thing, and then interject myself when I find necessary.

I like a good challenge. Testing my limits. Watching how a man navigates a relationship. This is all ever-interesting.  I'm not ready for monogamy and I can recognize that. I want to develop my self as an individual in hopes of finding someone who has done the same for their self. Until then I'll be hangin with whomever, when I can, and soaking up all the fun things there are to learn about myself and men!

Ok I'm done about this for now, I posted a question on Facebook and some people got in a tizzy. People cannot agree to disagree, it's always about the last word. What I found interesting though is that people gave me resources about pursuing poly-amorous relationships. I've never been interested in this. I know, for me, if I am in a romantic relationship I need to have no one else involved. I am not strong enough to share ha!

Oh gees, time to start another week! Where does the time go? If you missed Meat My Friends this past Saturday, it was amazing. Had a great show with a great audience, it really couldn't have gone better. This whole trial phase is awesome to see what works, and get feedback from show-goers. Overall, everyone had a blast. That is awesome to hear. Waiting on the next date, stay tuned!!

Have a great week!
Ciao for now,

TT

Things are getting Racey!

Lately I've been spending time with a guy who in addition to being gorgeous, smart, interesting, funny, adventurous, musically talented, well-spoken, a great story teller, has clean fingernails, is complimentary, incredibly charming, has an awesomely deep voice, heavily knowledgeable in politics and philosophy (read: the opposite of me), is also of mixed race.

I debated whether or not to touch on the subject or avoid it out of fear of people's reactions but I'm over it. I have no motive here other than sharing what I thought was an interesting conversation we had.  Just so it's clear he is half Jewish and half black. (I'm not gonna write African American repeatedly because I'd rather just write the way I talk and not focus on the fear of judgement)

Post-dinner we went walking around the village. We're still pretty much strangers so we've been having great conversation. (Thanks to Colin Kane for joking about "first daters", watch it here ) For some people, and even myself at moments, he can seem intimidating. Personally, though I love listening to anyone talk when it's something they are so passionate about. It's inspiring and frankly a bit of an aphrodisiac!

Anyway, amongst his big words & sharing family history he asked me: if because of my body type, do I get hit on by black men a lot? I quickly replied "all the time" and we laughed. I told him my fave story of walking down the sidewalk alongside a construction site and this gorgeous man standing there in all his 'construction worker fantasy' glory looked me up and down, made intense eye contact, then barked immediately following with a groan as I passed.  Yes, barked. DMX style. My Man-Friend half-smiled but he also seemed to shake his head in embarrassment. I've also been asked "can I get a piece of that cake?" to which I cheerfully turned and replied "I love cake, where is it?!" and continued on my way. He was proud that I take it in stride rather than being offended. I told him it's charming but won't win me over.

He continued to ask if I had ever dated outside of my race and I had to admit no and it was for no other reason than not meeting anyone that interested me except a highschool crush who years later offered to take me to the "mote" (motel) to which I quickly snapped out of my fantasy and walked away. I barely date white guys let alone spanning different backgrounds ha! He said he's tried it all. I find this hot. LOL What followed though I found both as comforting as it was interesting. He admitted that he doesn't see himself marrying a white woman. I feel the same about a black man but definitely carried some shame with this.  We had sort of similar reasons but we both agreed that we cannot be 100% definite in this sort of decision because we have no clue what the future holds. Although his "lets move to Europe and get married" comments are very appealing. Too bad I'm a commitment-phobe, actually he might be too. This rules, stress free.

 Anyway, we've had a great couple of dinners & chats & walks. No kiss yet but the anticipation is killing me. I spent time at The Village Chess Shop with him last night. I was so tempted a few times to go in for the kill but he works there (yeah, I know!!) so I kept it appropriate. Now there's even more curiosity and it rules. He's gonna teach me to play chess too.

Sorry for the delayed post and I hope it wasn't too boring just blabbering about myself. I didn't get home until 4am from the shop, it's open 24hrs btw! A really sweet couple visiting from San Fran sat down for a game around 1am. I love NY.

I'm uber excited for Saturday night, Meat My Friends: A Variety Show is BACK in Manhattan at Angels & Kings.  Got a new flyer, which I find hilarious, thanks to The Hive Creative Agency. I also had a great and super fun photoshoot on Saturday with Jose. He will also be shooting the show!

Hope to see you this weekend if you can make it out! We have new cast members, trying out something new with audience participation that could be really fun if it works out! I'm so honored to have the talents that will be.

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SPRING! I for one am looking forward to more sunlight, more energy from people, and wearing less layers.

Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful week!
Ciao for now,

TT