Tuesday, December 25, 2012

A Tale of Two Families

The older I get the more anxiety I have over the idea of splitting holidays if I ever end up in a couple. As much as we all label our families nuts, most of us wouldn't trade them for the world!  Last night over our annual Christmas Eve party at my parents' house, my aunt made it clear I cannot miss Thanksgiving at her house...just putting that out there for any prospective boytoys.  How do you and yours split the holidays? Do you alternate? Ugh, I don't wanna miss any!

My family is big too. Maybe I'll meet someone with a small fam and then they can join us? (Selfish) Maybe I'll meet someone that lives close so we can hit up both everytime? That's not bad, but the thought of having to migrate throughout the night is annoying. Being single, this makes everything peanuts! Ya know, just another excuse to tag onto my "I'm great at being alone" list.

Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I am home alone now, my family went to church. The house is nice and quiet, but it wouldn't be bad having company. They left me coffee and A Christmas Story is on (Hi Peter! aka Ralphie. Have you seen him lately? Adorbs! Actually reminds me of my bestfriend growing up VK. Man, I miss that kid.)

I hope you have a great holiday!! I have one week left to reach my 2012 goal of my 1st (and perhaps only) vlog. I'm scared. Will I get to it?? What should I talk about?! *bites nails*

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Well, that sucked!

Worst night of sleep in a really really long time. I am blessed with good sleeping habits no matter where I am, so when I have an off night, it's rough! I need someone to psycho analyze this one though. I'll retell my dream to the best of my memory. It was really quite vivid to the extent that you wake up feeling like it really may have happened. Ick!

I was walking down the street, perhaps early afternoon.  I'm not sure what street or even what neighborhood, but wherever I was, I was familiar with it and knew where I was going.  I see ahead that I'm approaching a young boy around 7 or 8, chubby with medium skin tone and dark features and his mother is behind him leaning on an iron gate type structure. She is smoking and looks unfortunate. Her hair a mess in a short ponytail, a white tank top and black cotton shorts. She was braless with boobs down to her belly button. I think she had those slippers on that are backless and peep toe.  She stared at me as sometimes people do. You feel like they hate you.

When I got closer, the boy asked if I had any change because he was very thirsty. (It was really warm out but I was definitely dressed in layers. I think even a scarf. Strange.) At that point I had reached him and crouched down to stand eye-to-eye. I kindly said I didn't have any extra change but I happened to have an extra bottle of water. (I was carrying a plastic bag, no clue what was in it until this point). I gave him the water and he ran off, I stood up.

As I turned my gaze to his mother, she was already coming at me holding 2 needles in one hand. She growled some sorta "you think you can..." message and stabbed the needles into the left side of my stomach. I remember jolting in my sleep.  After she pulled them out I could tell I was dizzy and trying to grab onto her to stand up. Somehow she lead me into her home (which was huge, with beautiful wood floors, and multiple levels) and upstairs into a large messy bedroom and laid me down in her unmade, higher than average bed.  My eyes barely staying open I remember hearing her leave the room and go downstairs.

When I slowly started coming to, I remember barely reaching my hand into my jacket pocket and using one hand to text my friend Kristen (Hey Girl!). I believe it was the next morning. I remember my text being something along the lines of: Call 911, tell them I am missing because ---
I was startled when I thought I heard someone coming upstairs. I saw my phone had no service so my text did not go through anyway. What felt like an hour was probably 2 minutes later. The little boy came to my bedside and looked at me. After he ran away, I somehow started rolling myself out of the bed and put my feet on the floor. I still could barely stand up straight. I was groggy and confused.

The mother came into the room and I saw she had needles in her hand again. I'm assuming the little boy said I was awake and she was coming back to drug me. Somehow I had the strength to defend myself. I grabbed her hand, then she wrestled me to the floor. I'm remembering a folding chair for some reason. That I picked it up to swing at her but she grabbed it. The little boy was watching us struggle. Eventually the mother and I were squared off when, just like the first time, she came charging at me. I don't know exactly what I did but I essentially turned the needles on her and stabbed her in the center of her stomach. She didn't just pass out, she died.

My alarm went off at 8am and I jumped up breathing heavily.
Needless to say, I was feeling extra tired & even a bit stressed today. The dream has been replaying over and over in my head. What the hell was that all about?

I want to send a huge hug & a million healing wishes to my friend BA's husband. She is a regular reader of Big Hips, Big Dreams and I'm thinking about her now more than ever. Get Well Soon Scott <3

I hope all of you have a fabulous Holiday season. Next time we meet it will be Christmas. Stay safe & warm.

Lots of Love,


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Hungry for Love

No. Not THAT kind of love. Not 1 milkshake, 2 straws. Not eye gazing and dream sharing in public kinda stuff. I'm hungry for lovin rather!

Dry spell. It's driving me crazy. Ya know, when masturbating isn't enough? When I'm craving crunchy foods to work out some frustration. When I'm prolonging painting my nails so I can chew em all off without that nasty taste. I freakin hate the word horny, but it is indeed what I am. You can also see this publicly when my posts get raunchier. It's the working out what I'm feeling inside ha! Bare with me. Bare or Bear? Now I'm really going crazy.

Either way I'm going to be BARE, or almost bare, tomorrow night at HurriDAMES! A benefit show for Hurricane Sandy victims where all proceeds will be going to the American Red Cross. I am SOOO excited to be on stage again. It really has been since my birthday. I'm feeling ready to focus more on new acts & costumes and really get that ball rolling again. Hopefully 2013 is the year for Meat My Friends or something like it!

I just got back from a great dinner at Sauce in the LES. A friend from high school happened to be working on a project in NYC and we did some catching up. That was refreshing because I hadn't seen him in probably a year or so. He was also the boy I thought so dreamy when he started coming to our school. Ha! Aww Matt <3 Our waiter was smokin hot too. He had beautiful hands & skin. Well we know what I'll be going to sleep with tonight. My thoughts, not him. FML!

OK, I really love sending snail mail when I can SOOOOO I've decided to send special holiday love to the first 10 people to inbox me their mailing address!!!
Email: TinaTassels@gmail.com
Subject: I Need to get Mailed

Look forward to hearing from you!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Energy Sucker!!!

Ugh - I'm feeling fed up lately. I don't deal well with people complaining about being tired all the time. Especially young, healthy, people. I don't understand how mature adults huff & puff like they've just come back from front lining a war or something. I too feel exhausted on occasion, I'm human, but it's usually because I've been putting my energy into something important to me so it's rare I complain about it. Shut your mouth and call it a day.

I've been using the phrase "energy sucker" to describe them. Not only does their energy level suck, but it in effect starts to suck the good energy from other people. Truly the worst kind of person to be around. It really takes a toll on me. I get annoyed and then start to pick at them which only makes me feel more irritated. It's stupid, I know, but there's no nice way to tell someone their attitude sucks so I tip toe around it.  It's wanting to reply to their rant with "no, I think the problem IS you not x, y, & z." You're probably laughing at me and saying get over it. Just ignore them. I CAN'T! That's my issue I know. But I'm so interested in people and the why? the what's your problem? Grrrrr!

It's inevitable that you'll encounter this person, especially in NYC. In work, play, anywhere really.  If it's a stranger I could care less, it's when it's a friend or someone I know better than the last guy. I just don't understand. I'm so over this "misery loves company" shit. Go lock yourself in a fuckin cell and leave us on the outside, that are trying to live a positive, happy life day to day, alone.

My girl Whitney Cummings wants to unsubscribe from people being tired all the time: "You're not bored, you're boring." Werd is bond!

Ciao for now,