Thursday, December 29, 2011

2011: Over & Out.

Well, I had written an entire post, went back to tweak it, and then accidentally erased the ENTIRE thing. That sucked. So here I am, back at the beginning!
My last Tuesday with Tassels fell short compared to what I wanted my year's end post to be. I really wanted to share a rambling list of 2011 memories and favorite things from food to places to beauty products. I'm so bummed that I can't even regurgitate my list. I'm gonna break it down more than before.

Here are some fave everythings from this year and years past. Some I recently discovered, others I've been loving for awhile but all of them I am currently obsessed with: Lancome Teint Idole Foundation, MAC Eyeshadow in Carbonized, Emporio Armani "She" perfume, Souen Union Square location, Pat Field's, MAC Gel Liner, Palladio angled liner brush, The New Girl with Zooey Deschanel, Korres Quercetin & Oak Anti-aging Eye Cream, Illamasqua Lipstick in Delirium, feta cheese, my new local coffee shop Goustaro, OPI Nail Polish in Dutch Tulips, Sorme brand Lipliner, watching Big Bang Theory with my new roommate, Klondike bars with dark chocolate shells, L'Oreal Voluminous Original formula mascara when I'm not getting Smashbox's Full Exposure, fish sticks, Pacifica Tuscan Blood Orange Body Butter, rum & cokes, Dr. Bronner's Peppermint wash, Matrix So Silver shampoo, Eggo waffles by influence of my grandmom, Gillette Mach 3 razors

Turning my can'ts into cans and dreams into plans. In 2012 I WILL: take some dance classes, go on more dates, visit my friends that live far away, have a belated apt warming party, produce shows in Manhattan, audition, video blog at least once, splurge on a pretty dance dress, get a full time job that I want, stop talking to the wrong person and more to possibly right people, be in a wedding as a groomsMAN (how cool right?!),  sell some of my dads antiques, order new business cards, make an official website once things start taking off because I know they will, try online dating, makeout with my Latin Lover again, read my "to read" pile of books, sing more on stage, brainstorm more about my one woman show, send my friends more snail mail, do tourist-in-NY things, watch more movies, buy myself a macbook, talk on the phone more - i really avoid this out of laziness, go to more museums, be even more aware of my spending, go see the Statue of Liberty, and bake more from scratch.

This list is totally doable!
I suggest you make one for yourself - make it realistic and low pressure. A simple rule to keep is: if you don't like it, don't do it. This extends to everything in life. I am really looking forward to 2012, even though I believe everyday is a chance to start a new year, this NYE is special for me. I've had a wonderful year of love, loss, celebration, and break downs and I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.  I am looking forward with wide eyes and high hopes and wish that you would be by my side while following your own dreams. We got this!

I'm happy to report I'll be performing in my FIRST EVER NYE SHOW! I can't freakin believe it! I already have a few awesome shows in January and have a few that are yet to be confirmed. I wanna see you and your bad self at a show if you can make it!

Saturday, NYE: Cercle Rouge, NYC - Second Seating - $155
Wednesday Jan 4: Rodeo Bar, NYC - Rockabilly Burlesque with a Live Band - NO cover
Saturday, Jan 7: Full Cup, Staten Island - Meat My Friends - $10
Saturday, Jan 21: Moose Lodge, Long Island - Rockabilly Rave 3 - $10

Ciao for now,

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

It's the End of the Year as We Know It!

Like for most single young women, the holidays bring waves of loneliness. Whether it's the music, the "feeling of togetherness" (omg i'm so corny), being home, wanting to buy someone a gift,'s at this time of year I wish more than ever I wasn't single. I feel so completely vulnerable that I barely want to leave the house.  After the couple weeks of hoopla pass though, I usually snap out of it and have gotten my head back above the water. *Keeping my fingers crossed this day hurries the hell up!*

I have a gut feeling that 2012 is gonna be huge for me. I'm not jinxing it by sharing this, rather I'm treating it as a sort of mantra. If I believe it, it will happen!
I'm also terrified to report that at some point in the year I will try online dating. I'm not sure why, but I can say that it's probably my biggest fear. Not necessarily online dating but dating in general and more so the being taken seriously as a possible lady friend part is hard to swallow.  After so many burns you start to believe why the fires are spreading. Ugh, we'll see what happens!

I'm vigorously job searching. I'm getting to the point of frustration that is effecting my performance. Strolling in a few minutes late, doing half ass work, just not really having any pride in what I'm doing. If you or anyone you know is looking for some marketing/production help - let me know! It would be highly appreciated. I'd prefer something full-time but long term project would be fantastic!

I'm realizing this post isn't half as exciting as I hoped it would be for the last one of the year. It honestly reflects my indifference to life right now and my anxiety crossing over into what's ahead. And for the record I'm totally PMSing and crying like a baby right now over EVERYTHING! Damnit! hahaha

Anyway, I guess I really just want to say a HUGE thank you for reading and following and liking pictures and retweeting posts and all your support and positive feedback and making me feel like my fighting for all of us is worth it! I wish you nothing but the best today and everyday, and I hope you are living the life you dream of!



Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Totally Self Defeated!

Booooo! Unfortunately The Big Girlie Holiday shows were cancelled. The venue wanted a certain amount of pre-sale tickets and we did not hit the mark. Although I was bummed about it, it may have been a blessing in disguise. I wasn't feeling well and met my goal of getting into bed before 10pm every night that I was able to.  I was excited to perform with The Glamazons again and at a venue I hadn't before but what can we do? I believe it can only mean there are bigger things ahead for all of us!

I am also secretly happy because I was terrified to do my fan dance. I would rehearse and feel ok then rehearse 2 days later and feel awkward and embarrassed. I need to practice more but I'm putting it off out of fear. I'm now having anxiety over how small they are (even though they're really not) and because they're just not as fancy, I guess, as most have.  I'm still really proud of them and am trying to figure out the best routine and costume to use them with. As for now my Blue Christmas act is just a tweaked version of I Don't Hurt Anymore.

I DID get to perform in a holiday show Saturday night. It was an amazingly successful benefit show for House of Loveness. An extremely tiny, wonderful and young foundation whose creator I had the absolute pleasure of meeting and chatting with. The turnout was impressive (to me anyway!) under a $35 ticket price, the raffles were SO awesome, and the silent auction of Luma Rouge sketches was a hit! I have to admit that everyone was extremely complimentary and I feel like the audience reactions during my act were super great. Kinda like what you want to hear and see every time you perform. I felt like a million bucks afterward!

Up next and what seems to be my last show of 2011 - UNLESS this New Year's Eve gig comes through (which would be amazing and the most pay I would see yet!) - is Mr. Choade's Upstairs/Downstairs Holiday Edition! Hooray! Performing with the slipper room in exile - HOW COOL!? I didn't get to see the old Slipper Room but when it reopens I will feel like a completely different person walking into it! Am really excited for Thursday and feeling much more confident now that I'm not pressuring myself into the fan dancing. I'd prefer a quality act I feel good about than ruining an age-old art!

 Well, I hope you have a fab week and wonderful holiday season! Thanks for checking in and I hope to see some of you Thursday night!

Ciao for now,


Oh! And don't forget to mark your 2012 calendars with 
two MEAT MY FRIENDS dates: 
January 7 - Full Cup, Staten Island
February 11 - Angels & Kings, NYC (HOLY SHIT!)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Fans on a Lucky Budget

I make it very clear that I must be very organized when it comes to my finances. I'm not in the most fortunate of places when it comes to my bank account and my income but I remain grateful and aware that this is a lull in my journey. BUT even when I was making steady, good money I still enjoyed the thrill of the hunt. For a bargain that is!

This week I am debuting a fan dance for the FIRST time. My costume is smaller and with less bells and whistles and I'm ecstatic about it.  I love my fans and although they are not as big and lush as I dream for one day I think they are lovely and full of character!

I have minimal options and time when it comes to crafting costumes and props. I am a hot glue gun professional ha! It holds, it's quick, and I have plenty of sticks to hold me over!
I also became a fan of larger sized sequins. They cover more area so you need less of them and I just gravitate towards them when shopping around.

I was so lucky to have gotten a response when I believe over a year ago I had put up a post on  facebook and twitter asking passively if anyone happened to have any feathers they had lying around and wanted to donate to my costume crafting endeavors. Eureka! A very DIY friend of mine Bex (Fitness Guru Extraordinaire)  had TONS of leftovers from her wedding to hot to trot photographer Justin (she's gonna punch me for writing "hot to trot" but he's so awesome I love him!)

I got to work looking up tips on the net to make what are know as panel fans. They do not have the interlocking handles that open and close and are much more annoying to transport but I actually love them and found them much less intimidating. I do not go the easy route I go the comfortable steps at a time route!

So TAHDAAAHHHH! I LOVE them and am very proud of them. I am excited to work on another routine with them. The only one I have prepared now is a holiday act I will be using for 3 shows!

I have to report that unfortunately tonight's show with The Glamazons: The Big Girlie Holiday Show is CANCELLED! The venue was hoping for more tickets to be bought up on pre-sale and that did not happen. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Thursday's show and I ask if you are coming to please buy tickets ahead! (They are cheaper that way too!)  I also have a show on Saturday being held by the producers of Paper Doll Productions and the teachers at Burlesque Bikini Bootcamp - those classes I took last year paid off! Hooray!
I also think I'll be at Mr. Choade's Upstairs/Downstairs show next Thursday! Holy cow!! The Slipper Room in exile..that's a super treat and huge honor!

I'm headin back to NY. I had a bittersweet visit to NJ. We had to send a friend of ours above the clouds much too soon but we know she's safe and sound and seeing her Dad again.  The day was spent with friends and family celebrating each moment we have left with each other. I highly recommend it. It does wonders for the soul.

Thanks again for stopping by! We are getting closer and closer to the new year and I am freaking out for all good reasons! I've been trying to write more jokes to use as an emcee. I don't wanna bomb ha!
Have a great week, and I'll see you next time..

Ciao for now,

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Here and Now

It has been a rough year for lots of you around me. Many have lost loved ones unexpectedly or came too close. I don’t know how the universe can make it any clearer that each day is incredibly precious. I know you all like to post quotes about “living for today” but how many of you really do it? How many of you are truly doing the things you love with the people you love around you? I never encourage anyone to be frivolous or irresponsible I only ask of you to self-reflect and realize how often you say “one day I will…” when reality is that TODAY is your day.

I’m devastated by news of a lost friend. She didn’t get the chance to wake up one last morning. And what a beautiful morning it was.

I am guilty of complaining, whining, wishing...but I keep faith and confidence in myself and the powers that may be I am on the road I’ve wanted to be on for so long. And God(s) forbid my days are numbered I don’t think I could be at a better place. I know I am rich with family, friends and I am living in a city some only dream of seeing.  I am thankful everyday and count my lucky stars. I’m struggling financially and some days mentally and emotionally but I would never trade it for anything in the world. I hope you can say the same and if not I dream for the moment you can.

I had a show last night which was the hardest one yet. I broke down moments before but I went out there with all I had.  I remind you on the regular that life is hard but I'd rather be living it . There is so much goodness to experience if you just allow yourself.  The hard times will pass and the rest will fall into place. Be good to yourselves...No day but today.

Sending you endless love,

PS: I plan on being at Nurse Bettie's on Thursday, 9:45p gogo, 10p free show!