Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Peace out NY

Oh man, I am hurtin. Finally on my couch in NY after a great weekend in Atlantic City. I went to celebrate a bachelor/ette party! Being a groomsWOman, I was torn whether to bide my time with the guys or girls but was relieved when everyone decided to hang out together!

As tired as I am today (after a day back at work), it was well worth it. Getting out of NY and this life for a little bit is the best thing I can do. It gives me peace of mind. I am reminded why I miss my friends but also why I've always wanted to leave NJ.  Saturday was my first day off in 17. Yes, 17. Between 2 jobs, even 3 when performing, I work as much as possible and take a day when I need it. This is beyond important. Most people have weekends off and I hope they realize what a luxury it is in a time when people are begging for work. I know I'm not some laborious mine worker, but no days off takes a freakin toll on you! You MUST treat yourself to a break every now and then. Even if it is to do "nothing". Taking that breath of fresh air on your own time works wonders for the soul.

Frankly, Saturday rolled around and I would have been a pig in a shit to just lay on the couch all day and not talk to anyone except myself. Quiet is all I crave sometimes!  Working so much I find myself exhausted and over emotional some days. I wonder where my "real" job is (in contrast to the "fake" jobs I have that I don't really want) and don't understand how I can work so much and just be getting by financially. Thanks to NY my once clean credit cards sky rocketed after losing my job a couple of years ago Boooo!

This coming week I'll be in NJ a bunch. While looking forward to the wedding and pool time with some of my girlfriends, the anxiety of not working almost a week is ever present.I need to shake the feeling and enjoy myself. Those of you that like to work though have to understand me right? Having no schedule at all freaks me out haha I like some structure! 

I know I missed the Mermaid Parade this year - I've still never been so I guess I don't know what I missing yet anyway but the pictures look amazing!  I hope you all had a nice weekend are enjoying this dope weather. I love the summer!

I realize how boring this post is but whatevs...I didn't wanna leave you guys hangin and hopefully next week I'll have something more exciting!! Have a great one..

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Wedding Date Blues?

I like weddings which seems to be the opposite of most people. Dancing, champagne, food, dressing up, the energy, I love it all!  I half-jokingly asked my friend, whose groomsWOman I am, if there would be any single attractive guys to flirt with since I would be going solo. After a long pause and mentally listing all the coupled up 20-somethings that would be there he excitedly named one lucky guy. One.

From the second I got the invite I thought 'Man, I wish I had someone to bring'. Why, though?  I'm always flying solo, what is it about the +1 on the envelope that makes me go down my list of possible partners for the night?  And we all know you can't just bring ANYONE. It has to be the right type of person. First time I ever brought someone to a wedding it was mostly to get laid. He was super fun though. Downside? My family asking whatever happened to that nice boy...hmm, how do I gently tell them "we had sex and he never called me again"? Ha! Date #2 was a good friend of mine that I happened to be seeing at the time. He was an OK date. While good looking and fun to chat with he seemed in a funk and isn't much of a dancer and just didn't meet the expectations I had. Bad choice! After those, I realized why am I doubling up on the gift and lacking luster in my time spent at the celebration?

Here are some plus & minuses to bringing a date.

Someone to dance with? (not even a guarantee)
Someone to chat with? (depends on seating if you're in the wedding)
Someone to walk up to the bar with?
Someone's hand to hold and parade around to show LOOK, I'M NOT HERE ALONE!
Merely someone to show up with so you don't feel so sad walking in by yourself..*

*I think this one takes the cake. Ugh!

More money in the envelope
Making them feel comfortable if they don't know anyone
Leaving them to sit alone if you're in the wedding

Um..lots of my pluses have question marks hahah I decided not to bring a date. The only person I thought I'd bring is a good friend and even then I chose not to. I'll go alone, hang with whoever is there. I'm good friends with the family so I'm sure I'll be more thankful I didn't bring one. Just for the record: the first person I thought about bringing was my lover. That idea got axed real quickly. He doesn't dance, would probably be annoying to my friends and just annoy me in the end. The only reason someone said it wouldn't be a bad idea is that I'd have guaranteed wedding sex. Um, I think I'll hold out!

Thanks for stopping in again! I'll be going to Atlantic City this weekend for the bachelor/ette party. I cannot wait. After 2+ weeks of work straight I need a cocktail, some sun, and old people gambling away their fortune..sugar daddy??

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Going Back For More

Last week I closed my blog saying that I might be ending things with my lover. Well I'm not, not just yet anyway.  I'm in the "it's better to have someone to call than no one" state of mind right now. This has been my life though. Not having a serious relationship in my 28 years of existence, I've relied on casual relationships. Anybody that wanted to spend some time with me. (Not just anybody, but you know what I mean!)

The thread is getting thinner though. I'm not a good fake it til you make it girl. I'd rather just not talk to you anymore. Last time we hung out was irritating. I was probably PMSing, the subway wasn't working, it was SO hot outside, I was waiting around on the streets after a long day of work, and I was irked that we weren't going back to my place since my roommate was away the entire weekend..I just wanted to go home. I should have went home, but I didn't. I felt bad bailing, but now I've learned my lesson because it really put a damper on our thing. He seems clueless though.

After that last hang sess, I pretty much avoided his calls for 2 weeks. Oopsies, I didn't get to my phone in time. Oopsies, I'm already asleep. Oopsies, I'm washing my hair. Oopsies, ignore. You get the idea. After all that, the boy keeps calling, and keeps leaving sweet messages without including so much as a "hope everything is ok...haven't heard from you". This was cracking me up. I figured since I've simmered down I'll give it another go. Perhaps in a better mood but still not being able to shake how annoyed I felt by him that night. I really didn't feel like talking to him, let alone sleeping with him but I did both. As much as I could have fell asleep on his couch watching Friends, I got up and did my duty. By the way, the sex wasn't a percentage of how exciting it usually is because my head was just clouded. Frankly, I couldn't wait for it to be over so I could get in a solid night's sleep before working again. So it ended, he played his bass, I passed out.

Morning came and I took a shower and got ready as usual but this time I didn't go back down to his room and kiss his head good bye. That was a sign. We'll see what happens..

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Silent Girl Code? No Thanks.

Girl with Boyfriend hates Single girl.
Boyfriend will never leave Girlfriend for Single girl.
Boyfriend though, will cheat on Girlfriend with Single girl.
Note: Single girl is not responsible for Boyfriend and Girlfriend.

My thoughts are taking me back to an article I read not too long ago, but am now having trouble finding for you...sorry!  In short, it said that women must work together to keep men in check. Since we know "how they are" when it comes to sex, we must  look out for one another and make it clear to men that having their cake and eating it too is just not how it's gonna go down in this woman-run world! Hmm...

I'm not sure how I feel about this. The biggest issue women have is blaming each other rather than blaming the dude. We all know that though so I don't feel like bitching about it now. Instead I'm curious to know cheating stats. I'm finding that with age, more and more people I know have done it, are doing it, are having it done to them, are choosing to allow it, and are healthily accepting of it.  I'm also curious to know how many relationships would define themselves as successful because one partner has sought outside relations (physical, emotional or both).

Listen, I'll admit it, I'm not exactly innocent, but I'm finding more and more comfort over time when hearing about LOTS of other people with similar experiences. It's sort of crazy how apparent "cheating" is in today's society.  Although I dream of a monogamous lifestyle, I'm often wondering why we still in 2012, are trying so hard to hold onto a two-some style romantic life that takes a lot more work and stress than just being free?

It's hard enough taking care of myself and my needs but to start worrying about yours....sheesh! I can't take care of your relationship too! I'll mind my business and you mind yours. Here's a confession: I don't feel so bad about things I should probably feel bad about. How's that for a "see you in hell" sign off?! Hahah

Just getting back to NYC from NJ. My mom had a small surgery done that was put on hold for a few weeks because her heart tests were coming back funny. I don't even wanna get into the stress I've been under!! That woman drives me crazy.

I've got 2 shows this week!! I get to play in Coney Island with some Aussies on Thursday night and then Saturday night is gonna be a super fun record release party at Otto's Shrunken Head! Woot, can't wait. I'm gonna see if the gold sequin dress can make it to Thursday night. That shit would be dope, I'm just thinking the zipper isn't going to deliver. I'll have to play around with it a bit more before hand!

Hope to catch you at a show soon, if not have a great week and I'll see you next time!!

Ciao for now,