Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Tassels on Delay!

No, I'm not stoned -although I wish- I was just super lazy! And when I wasn't feeling lazy I was at work...boooooo to me, I know!

Happy Wednesday! How was Tuesday without me? Awful I'm betting ha! jk jk (I love writing double "jk"!) I had a really fun yet fairly uneventful weekend. Friday night I decided to meet my girl Charlie Gunn(whom I hadn't seen in FOREVER!) at Calamity Chang's Room 69. I say it a lot, I don't go to shows much because frankly I just can't afford to go out. I have to be really selective and aware of my week when planning things. This was well worth it, even though I was exhausted and could have easily gone home and to bed. I practiced what I preached, though and headed out for a glass of wine!

It was fun to watch the show and see what the audience sees. I really loved performing at Hotel Chantelle so I wanted to check out a different POV. Afterward we ended up having another drink and some good eats at the usual post-show spot whose freakin name I cannot think of to save my life but it's right on the corner of Ludlow and Broome, across from Chantelle! Anyway, I love sitting with CC, she gives me great advice when I need it and really encourages me.

 Everyone needs a cheerleader! Other than my occasional hot ass reflection, I work overtime being my own cheerleader mentally. Here's my self-absorbed hot morning pic. I posted it on my Twitter but I try my best (sometimes!) to keep Facebook free of slutty pics I take of myself for my mother's sake. I love this bra, it makes my rack look extremely approachable haha grrr, I need a haircut but my color looks fly as hell!

Right now my calendar is pretty empty which means I have to use my free nights wisely to work on current acts and feel out a new one. Next week though I have a SUPER exciting show that I had mentioned before: The Big Girlie Show with THE GLAMAZONS! What what! Doing my newest act, which I LOVE, so I hope it goes over well!

Additionally I'm in the works of heading back to Staten Island with Meat My Friends. I was really putting it off because I'm in search for my Manhattan venue. Yes "my", I'm not messing around.  When it feels right, it's gonna happen!

I have a bad habit of saying "blah blah blah...and I'm a nobody" when a great opportunity is offered to me and I'm so excited explaining it to someone. We all know it's much easier to give advice than to take it but my number one goal is stop saying this. I don't think it all the time but sometimes it's easy to be self-deprecating as to avoid being proud! Well fuck the bullshit, I am pumped and I AM somebody! :)

Thanks for reading and baring with my tardiness!

Ciao for now,


PS: Here's the official flyer for The Big Girlie Show - please share it!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Mind over Matter.

As long as I kept myself laughing I wouldn't start crying. Everything the priest said I would take the wrong way as to shift my attention from what was really happening.  I always knew I'd be at your wedding, but I didn't think I'd be a guest.

It's over now and at the advice of many this should be closure but it hasn't hit me yet. Today I do not want to get out of bed. I'm still confused and in some thoughts filled with anger.  I feel ripped off by the universe and that everything I believe in has been turned to dust.  At this very second, I am having a hard time looking ahead.  I admit with confidence, that your first dance as husband and wife was the hardest thing I've ever had to sit through in my life thus far. I excused myself midway to collect my thoughts in the restroom. In that moment I needed to walk away as much as I needed air.

Throughout the night I kept conversation, rum'n'cokes, and cigarettes coming. At some point I had really convinced myself that I was somewhere else and nothing of the sort had happened at all. It was in creeping moments of silence when my mind had time to wander. And in those same moments I'd turn my eyes up letting the tears dry on their own.


The beginning of my weekend was nothing short of amazing though. I was at Nurse Bettie's on Thursday with a new act and had super confidence in it. I feel ok to say it went really well and I'm pretty sure it looked great. Either way, I felt like a million bucks afterward.

Friday, I was super honored to both perform then host the Early Bird Special show of Drive Thru Burlesque. It was my first time hosting in Manhattan. I can't believe it's happened...this can only be the beginning!  It was a rough start. I was the opener and the crowd wasn't anywhere near warmed up yet. As with lots of shows once you start feeling the groove and the audience seems looser, the show is about to be over *womp womp* but none the less I had a blast. I took note of some things that worked and didn't work. There is no way to get better at anything than just going for it, working it out on the stage. It was awesome!

I need to update my resume as far as day jobs go. I've done a lot over the last year and haven't put it down in writing yet. I'm not that happy with the things I'm doing to get by and pay rent. I need more creative freedom, a sense of authority (because I like being charge, I'm organized and I'm good at it), and frankly a bigger pay check.

Now, more than ever, is the time I must keep on keepin on.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I Love Raw Zucchini!!

Jokes are welcome but I'm obsessed! I've also booked a shoot for next month with the likes of Moz Photo who I had the absolute pleasure of meeting while I was out in Long Island at the Rockabilly Hot Rod Riot.  I haven't shot in sometime and am not only dying to but I need new pics stat! Booking a shoot also sets off my nerves! I'm looking forward to shooting with a woman again though. Haven't done that since Lindsey Thorne, who shot some of THE best pictures I have (1 is right there! On location at the Chelsea Piers & The Frying Pan). She's now working her magic in Austin, TX. Not that I'm uncomfortable with men but I definitely feel calmer when I have a confident woman on my side, rooting for my best face/body/everything to come out! Biggup to my lady photogs!

My birthday was on Tuesday. (As you would know if you freakin read my shit HA! jk jk) I got my tattoo, which is healing beautifully. Went back to Hand of Glory even though my boy Derek bounced on NYC for the suburbs of CT. So happy with the work of Matt Ahn!! I did the usual barely sleeping when I have a fresh tattoo due to my fear of rubbing it off in the night. Impossible I know but I paid good money so I'm not trying to fuck these up!  I ended up having a great dinner with my 2 lady friends JT & DC. We went to Fonda - totally our fave - in Park Slope and had margaritas and every dessert on the menu only AFTER I asked the guys to sing to us. There were also 2 other birthdays in the house. October 5th is the most popular birthday in the world. It's totes hilar to think all our parents were bangin on NYE - live it up! hahaha

I'm totally PMSing. Ew, sorry. But I think having moved in with a new girl, my shit has been all messed up and off schedule. So annoying!! And, we all know I ain't gettin any lately so it isn't a pregnancy scare here. Besides, if I was that peanut growing in my belly, I'd be more scared LOL (wow, great abortion joke, I rule!) I feel like I'm always puffy and pms-y when I have a bunch of shows. I'm always exhausted and kinda just want the show to be over with (no way to live a life!) and this is exactly how I felt Friday...blah!

I worked my day job and then had to werk it at Room 69. There was this terribly talented lineup, which also makes me self-conscious, and I was so tired and feeling bad about my body until I walked up the freakin stairs at Hotel Chantell only to see NJ FRIENDS: LP, KB, and RM like deer in headlights!!!!! I was so confused and over come with emotion I didn't know what to say!!! WHY/HOW WERE THEY HERE?! Can you believe it? I couldn't. Within 1 second of seeing their faces and hearing them say "this isn't all of us" I both freaked out and started crying. My bro showed up. Enough said. They brought me yellow roses (my fave kind, I don't think any of them knew that either!) and a custom made cake with my pic on was nothing short of amazing. They rule so hard and totally turned not only my night around but my birthday week. Also I have to say how much I LOVED performing at Room 69. It's evolved into a floor show and playing the entire room was nothing short of exhilarating! So glad Calamity's decided to start having newer folk perform there!

Even Thursday night was a blast. One of my bffs from Flotown, CJ, was here (for what I thought was only the night because he was also in on my Friday night surprise!)! I ended up meeting Andy of Soldier Leisure. He's an artist of mainly murals that you can spot around the world I think, if not only the US. I'm loving this growing brand am looking forward to working with him. Amongst drinks and getting to know each other we chatted business and I can't wait to see the magic we make! Stand by for deets down the road!

So I'm finally doing a new act that I've been sorta blowing off.  It's a classic to a Dinah Washington song and I'm over the moon about it. The song itself moves me like crazy, I think it's gonna be super liberating to werk that shit out on stage. Another busy week of day job then night jobs but I'm stoked!

Add to your calendars for this week:
**Thursday Nurse Bettie's 10p FREE show with Calamity Chang and company
**Friday Parkside Lounge 11p $10 (3shows!) with Drive Through Burlesque - I am both performing in and HOSTING the Early Bird Special. This officially marks my first ever time as a host in Manhattan. I can't even wrap my head around it. Prepare to hear all my secrets. I don't know why I spill my guts when I have a mic in my hand but I have a blast!
Side note: the people that run these shows are so fucking supportive and sweet and keep it so real and perverted in life that I can't say enough about them!

Am waiting for confirmation that I'll be performing in a show hosted by The Glamazons!!! Holy cow!
And I think I also just booked my first show FOR THE NEW YEAR! What?! Headin back to Long Island!

I won't lie. I've been a bit busy and haven't made some phone calls about putting shows together Bad Tina! *slaps self across the face*

This is my weekly update and it sounds pretty great to me! I am still on the hunt for non-ill fitting white bottoms. Preferably ruffled ones but I can't seem to find plus sized ones in a store (I don't want to order online!).

Hope you have a great week ahead and even greater weekend plans! Thanks for continually checking in with Bip Hips, Big Dreams - it means more than you could possibly know!

Ciao for now,


PS: If you're in NYC, get your tix to Colin Kane. This hilarious, filthy, smokin hot, and truly inspiring comedian. My man is climbing to the top and I plan on watching him every step of the way. Oct 20 at Gotham Comedy Club - Do it! I'll be there with my too-hot-to-trot singer sidekick Angelo. #noautographsorpictures #security!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Another Year Older, None the Wiser

That's totally a lie!
I'm feeling on top of my game (the game of life that is) I'm just lacking the physical resources (money) to bring what I want to life (musical theater with a twist). I'm really struggling financially. For how much I work I barely make enough to keep afloat in NYC. Additionally, I've got -what most would think- are poorly prioritized priorities. Ha! Does that make sense? Rent first, food next, cigarettes (yeah, I know, shut up) mixed in with coffee, shoes, dresses, tattoos, dining out, and then somehow I manage to get some bills paid on time. Whatevs, mind ya biz! hahah's my Birthday! Hooray! I'm 28. Can you believe it? I can't. I don't stress much about age though, that's silly. It's only when I put my current life up against my friends' and family's living in the burbs. In NY I feel at ease, when I leave is when I feel judged and completely lacking. Last in line. I feel like NYC is the magnet for the 1 friend in a group that gets sucked here to live among fellow dream chasers. Dreamers are everywhere, it's the chasers that find one another...

I'm feeling a bit lonely (it's late on Monday/early Tuesday)..I should clarify: I wish I wasn't alone tonight. That aside...this my 3rd birthday in NY. I still pinch myself as a reminder that it IS MY REAL LIFE. I am living it. So crazy fucking cool. I've had an especially great year with all the people I've met and am constantly meeting, the opportunities being offered or even the ones I'm making for myself. I'm incredibly proud of how I continue to evolve and get closer and closer to the person I not only want to be, but know I truly am. I know that all this not-so-hard phase of hardships will pay itself off!

So far 28 is great (all 50mins of it haha!).
I'll continue keeping the faith in my big hips and my big dreams because after such a year, I've nothing left to lose!

Happy Tuesday cats & kittens!
Ciao for now,


PS: This Friday, 10/7 Hotel Chantelle Debut for Calamity Chang's Room 69...sizzle! Free show, 9pm sharp, gorgeous place come have a glass of wine with me!