Tuesday, December 25, 2012

A Tale of Two Families

The older I get the more anxiety I have over the idea of splitting holidays if I ever end up in a couple. As much as we all label our families nuts, most of us wouldn't trade them for the world!  Last night over our annual Christmas Eve party at my parents' house, my aunt made it clear I cannot miss Thanksgiving at her house...just putting that out there for any prospective boytoys.  How do you and yours split the holidays? Do you alternate? Ugh, I don't wanna miss any!

My family is big too. Maybe I'll meet someone with a small fam and then they can join us? (Selfish) Maybe I'll meet someone that lives close so we can hit up both everytime? That's not bad, but the thought of having to migrate throughout the night is annoying. Being single, this makes everything peanuts! Ya know, just another excuse to tag onto my "I'm great at being alone" list.

Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I am home alone now, my family went to church. The house is nice and quiet, but it wouldn't be bad having company. They left me coffee and A Christmas Story is on (Hi Peter! aka Ralphie. Have you seen him lately? Adorbs! Actually reminds me of my bestfriend growing up VK. Man, I miss that kid.)

I hope you have a great holiday!! I have one week left to reach my 2012 goal of my 1st (and perhaps only) vlog. I'm scared. Will I get to it?? What should I talk about?! *bites nails*

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Well, that sucked!

Worst night of sleep in a really really long time. I am blessed with good sleeping habits no matter where I am, so when I have an off night, it's rough! I need someone to psycho analyze this one though. I'll retell my dream to the best of my memory. It was really quite vivid to the extent that you wake up feeling like it really may have happened. Ick!

I was walking down the street, perhaps early afternoon.  I'm not sure what street or even what neighborhood, but wherever I was, I was familiar with it and knew where I was going.  I see ahead that I'm approaching a young boy around 7 or 8, chubby with medium skin tone and dark features and his mother is behind him leaning on an iron gate type structure. She is smoking and looks unfortunate. Her hair a mess in a short ponytail, a white tank top and black cotton shorts. She was braless with boobs down to her belly button. I think she had those slippers on that are backless and peep toe.  She stared at me as sometimes people do. You feel like they hate you.

When I got closer, the boy asked if I had any change because he was very thirsty. (It was really warm out but I was definitely dressed in layers. I think even a scarf. Strange.) At that point I had reached him and crouched down to stand eye-to-eye. I kindly said I didn't have any extra change but I happened to have an extra bottle of water. (I was carrying a plastic bag, no clue what was in it until this point). I gave him the water and he ran off, I stood up.

As I turned my gaze to his mother, she was already coming at me holding 2 needles in one hand. She growled some sorta "you think you can..." message and stabbed the needles into the left side of my stomach. I remember jolting in my sleep.  After she pulled them out I could tell I was dizzy and trying to grab onto her to stand up. Somehow she lead me into her home (which was huge, with beautiful wood floors, and multiple levels) and upstairs into a large messy bedroom and laid me down in her unmade, higher than average bed.  My eyes barely staying open I remember hearing her leave the room and go downstairs.

When I slowly started coming to, I remember barely reaching my hand into my jacket pocket and using one hand to text my friend Kristen (Hey Girl!). I believe it was the next morning. I remember my text being something along the lines of: Call 911, tell them I am missing because ---
I was startled when I thought I heard someone coming upstairs. I saw my phone had no service so my text did not go through anyway. What felt like an hour was probably 2 minutes later. The little boy came to my bedside and looked at me. After he ran away, I somehow started rolling myself out of the bed and put my feet on the floor. I still could barely stand up straight. I was groggy and confused.

The mother came into the room and I saw she had needles in her hand again. I'm assuming the little boy said I was awake and she was coming back to drug me. Somehow I had the strength to defend myself. I grabbed her hand, then she wrestled me to the floor. I'm remembering a folding chair for some reason. That I picked it up to swing at her but she grabbed it. The little boy was watching us struggle. Eventually the mother and I were squared off when, just like the first time, she came charging at me. I don't know exactly what I did but I essentially turned the needles on her and stabbed her in the center of her stomach. She didn't just pass out, she died.

My alarm went off at 8am and I jumped up breathing heavily.
Needless to say, I was feeling extra tired & even a bit stressed today. The dream has been replaying over and over in my head. What the hell was that all about?

I want to send a huge hug & a million healing wishes to my friend BA's husband. She is a regular reader of Big Hips, Big Dreams and I'm thinking about her now more than ever. Get Well Soon Scott <3

I hope all of you have a fabulous Holiday season. Next time we meet it will be Christmas. Stay safe & warm.

Lots of Love,


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Hungry for Love

No. Not THAT kind of love. Not 1 milkshake, 2 straws. Not eye gazing and dream sharing in public kinda stuff. I'm hungry for lovin rather!

Dry spell. It's driving me crazy. Ya know, when masturbating isn't enough? When I'm craving crunchy foods to work out some frustration. When I'm prolonging painting my nails so I can chew em all off without that nasty taste. I freakin hate the word horny, but it is indeed what I am. You can also see this publicly when my posts get raunchier. It's the working out what I'm feeling inside ha! Bare with me. Bare or Bear? Now I'm really going crazy.

Either way I'm going to be BARE, or almost bare, tomorrow night at HurriDAMES! A benefit show for Hurricane Sandy victims where all proceeds will be going to the American Red Cross. I am SOOO excited to be on stage again. It really has been since my birthday. I'm feeling ready to focus more on new acts & costumes and really get that ball rolling again. Hopefully 2013 is the year for Meat My Friends or something like it!

I just got back from a great dinner at Sauce in the LES. A friend from high school happened to be working on a project in NYC and we did some catching up. That was refreshing because I hadn't seen him in probably a year or so. He was also the boy I thought so dreamy when he started coming to our school. Ha! Aww Matt <3 Our waiter was smokin hot too. He had beautiful hands & skin. Well we know what I'll be going to sleep with tonight. My thoughts, not him. FML!

OK, I really love sending snail mail when I can SOOOOO I've decided to send special holiday love to the first 10 people to inbox me their mailing address!!!
Email: TinaTassels@gmail.com
Subject: I Need to get Mailed

Look forward to hearing from you!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Energy Sucker!!!

Ugh - I'm feeling fed up lately. I don't deal well with people complaining about being tired all the time. Especially young, healthy, people. I don't understand how mature adults huff & puff like they've just come back from front lining a war or something. I too feel exhausted on occasion, I'm human, but it's usually because I've been putting my energy into something important to me so it's rare I complain about it. Shut your mouth and call it a day.

I've been using the phrase "energy sucker" to describe them. Not only does their energy level suck, but it in effect starts to suck the good energy from other people. Truly the worst kind of person to be around. It really takes a toll on me. I get annoyed and then start to pick at them which only makes me feel more irritated. It's stupid, I know, but there's no nice way to tell someone their attitude sucks so I tip toe around it.  It's wanting to reply to their rant with "no, I think the problem IS you not x, y, & z." You're probably laughing at me and saying get over it. Just ignore them. I CAN'T! That's my issue I know. But I'm so interested in people and the why? the what's your problem? Grrrrr!

It's inevitable that you'll encounter this person, especially in NYC. In work, play, anywhere really.  If it's a stranger I could care less, it's when it's a friend or someone I know better than the last guy. I just don't understand. I'm so over this "misery loves company" shit. Go lock yourself in a fuckin cell and leave us on the outside, that are trying to live a positive, happy life day to day, alone.

My girl Whitney Cummings wants to unsubscribe from people being tired all the time: "You're not bored, you're boring." Werd is bond!

Ciao for now,


Friday, November 30, 2012

Size Me Up

I am SO excited to be working for a brand and physical store in New York that caters to a size range of XXSmall up to 4X!!

After the first phone call my co-worker received asking "Are you only going to carry size 0s like every other store in NY?" we started to get people popping their heads in the door with the same question. The sheer sense of relief that comes over their face after I tell them our range is unforgettable. One woman, visiting from the UK, was so grateful "to find beautiful styles in my size" she could barely say the words. The experience has been giving me goosebumps!

I mentioned it in my last post, that I actually asked my interviewer "I know Bettie Page makes plus sizes, but will we be carrying it in store?" I too was not only relieved, but proud even to be able to represent a shop that is so lacking in NYC.  I'm also getting smaller sized girls (just as self-conscious as us chubby ones wouldn't ya know!) saying "but I don't have any curves for these." I have been assuring my clients:

**If you have curves the pieces will show them off, if you don't have curves, the dresses will create them!!**

I've really been enjoying work. Sorry for this delayed post. I had a shitty bought of PMS and was SO tired every time I sat in front of the computer this week. Now that I'm not pregnant (read: I'm boatin down red river) I actually have my normal energy back! I am starting to feel much more settled at this job than I had in an entire year and a half at Sephora. I loved my coworkers and doing makeup, but that isn't where I wanted to be. I felt anxious a lot of the time being on the hunt for work. I definitely derailed from the performing track and I'm getting myself back on it! I am fiending for it!

I'm also in need for the touch and smell of a man. How's that for a closer?
Thanks for stopping by, have a great weekend!

Ciao for now,


PS: Haven't been on stage in awhile, but I'll be stripping for Sandy victims - come check out this awesome benefit: HurriDAMES! I can't wait <3

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Gots me a new Jobby Job

HOORAY! If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and even Instagram (@TinaTassels) you'd know by now that I got a new gig with one of the cutest pinup brands on the market BETTIE PAGE CLOTHING!!!

My manager is amazing. Her and I are very much alike. She hit the nail on the head and I freaked out with one of my Tina style YEAH!s and was offered the job on the spot. She said something along the lines of "it's hard to find someone with a bubbly personality that is still business minded." Some of you are probably saying "not really," but in the business world it really is. I feel like I have struggled with this my entire life. That being outgoing & funny also seems to give way to a less responsible, passive mentality and therefore in no way have any sense of business. I like to think I defy the stereotype and live through it...werk!

Leaving Sephora is bittersweet. I will miss the people I work with more than anything else there. The company is too big for my taste. Working for the man wasn't my slice of pie, so I'm looking forward to a smaller team & company. I feel confident I might be able to soar with BPC - LOL insert inspirational card job here.

Last week I skipped out on you guys to spend some time in NJ. I got a new license & spent some QT with my crazy bro. We had a great sushi lunch and ended up doing some shopping then grabbed a couple of drinks. Good bonding sess. I also got my hurr did and tried something new: blonde with pink highlights. While I do like the look, I'm missing my pink head like crazy! I think I'll leave it like this for now and the next round will be full head again.

I have to give a quick shout out to my friend Rebekah - you guys know her as Bex. She finally got to share some good news with you all (I already knew mwahah) that she will be hosting a new show on Veria Living...I searched her name for you so you can see what she's done so far! HOW FREAKIN COOL! I know good peeps! <3

Thursday is Thanksgiving, yum! I will be home Wednesday night to have drinks and endure hellos from people that didn't talk to me years ago. I don't mind, I liked everyone, I just find it interesting. People are fascinating, aren't they?

I'm gonna end on that note :)  I have a show coming up - I'm calling it "Strippin for Sandy" but it's really: HurriDAMES. I don't think it'll be a new piece but we'll see!! Excited to get back on stage and for a great cause! Hope to see you in the audience!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Places You Will Go

From the second we all hugged and said hello, we felt guilty for the fact that we were leaving NYC in such a time. My road trip friends and I were all fortunate in the wake of the storm and had barely lost a volt of electricity. We came to a mutual decision that we were not doing anything wrong, that life must go on, and that we had planned this over a month ago...so on our adventure to the Berkshires we went.  Our destination being to visit our girl friend who had left NYC a year ago to better care for her mom. Read her sweet blog here: Little Tobin & Daughter.

I for one was excited to A) get some fresh air outside of the city. I've been feeling stressed lately for so many reasons, B) actually go on a trip with friends outside of NY and not just to NJ (no offense you guys!), and C) venture to a city/village (ha!) I had never even heard of before meeting my friend4 years ago. The drive was breathtaking: mountains, lakes, colorful trees (with whatever leaves had survived Hurricane Sandy's wind), winding roads, no traffic, barely any cars on the road, sunshine.

During our 3hr+ trip we had all caught up. We knew there were some plans for the weekend starting with our friend's gallery showing. That night in Pittsfield was the Artswalk. This happens every first Friday of the month where galleries open their doors and people spend the evening walking the town and checking out the exhibits and chatting with the artists (and the occasional junkie just looking for a bite to eat).  We had a blast roaming the streets, talking to locals who were so kind and inviting to us stick-out-like-soar-thumbs visitors.  That night my fellow traveler VD (hush your jokes! hahah I'm laughing now too!) shared with me her interested in water colors and how she might take a class. Well inspired she was when we walked into a water color gallery. She declared "That's it! I'm doing it."

During our walk we also stumbled into Wild Sage thrift shop. IT WAS AMAZING!! I could have spent hours and many dollars in there if we weren't in a rush to get back for a tap dancing showcase. I did manage to grab a new addition to my single cigarette ashtray collection, check it out!  I bought it as a single piece and now it's in 2. *sad face* My roommate accidentally knocked it over and it cracked. These are hard to find and it was the first time I had ever seen one in person. There's only one listed on ebay and it looks like someone made it yesterday. *Grabs crazy glue*

So back to that tap dancing. The showcase turned into a mini class!! It was the first time I had actually been taught some sort of step. The teacher brought a suitcase full of shoes so we all stood in a circle and got to tap a bit together. Well hello again inspiration because I think it's time I finally signed up for the tap class I've wanted for over a year now!!

The next day we headed to Mass MoCA. I hadn't been to a museum in forever so it was refreshing and much needed! The bonus? Bank of America card holders were FREE! (Thanks for that universe, you got my financial back!) There was a huge wing closed off because they were building a phoenix exhibit. Phoenix like the mythical bird, not the city. Well 3rd times a charm right? Our other fellow traveler SDR has been constructing the idea of a phoenix tattoo but still wasn't sure. He'd be going to Italy in a few weeks and was planning to visit his artist while back home. I'll admit, this didn't seal the deal for him, but it was actually when during our last meal in Massachusetts an elderly woman walked in and had a huge embroidered one on the back of her coat. So misplaced and so perfect. He's now ready.

I'm not ready to be back in NYC yet though. Being away was really great. I don't wanna talk much about the hurricane aftermath because it's devastating. I'll be getting some things together to donate. If you can, please look up the nearest center, drop off some supplies or warm clothing. Anything will help!  If you've lost it all, the only way left to go is up...keep the faith <3

As of now I don't have any shows scheduled. It's definitely a bummer, but I've really been focusing on my finances and getting a job that I both love & pays the bills better.  It is no easy feat right now. I have a couple new acts though I've been focusing on minimally. I hope to get more settled in the coming season and hopefully get some projects going! I have an interview on Tuesday with Bettie Page Clothing. They're opening a store in New York City and I am hoping to join the team. I don't always like sharing what I'm interviewing for, but it doesn't matter. I'd tell you next week anyway :) Wish me luck!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Life Left to Live

HOORAY!!  NO WORK AGAIN BECAUSE A LIFE-TAKING, FLOOD-CAUSING, DEVASTATING HURRICANE!!! I NEED to work. I am bummed about these missed days. Work aside, I also dislike being idle for so long. I feel too young and anxious and life-loving to be stuck at home.

Life can be cut really short, but if you're lucky (and close to me in age) you might have 60+ years to go!  60! You know how much life that is to live?! I'm not one to judge how you decide to spend the rest of your possibly REALLY long life ahead though. I am however, confident that complaining and being lazy are not the happiest & healthiest ways to bide your time. I'm also incredibly turned off by young people that are really stuck in their ways. Like when their daily habits read like the movie Groundhog Day. It's so uneventful to me! It's 2012, conventional life is harder and harder to define and even more difficult depending on where you live but I think people born of the same generation are even clashing in their beliefs.

I feel like so many my age, woman more so (I'll say it!) are ungrateful, know it alls. It's almost like a bunch of you took the feminist movement the wrong way or something and think the world owes you something. That now all of a sudden, a "successful" woman is allowed to set the standard and can put the rest down seems to be leading a lot of you to complete asshole-dom.

I'm also really turned off by how woman talk about men these days. Specifically, I find lots of women unattractive once I've heard them spew a few "I think he should"s over a meal.  Am I wrong? I feel such a lack in self-reflection amongst my ladies.  Everyone is out to blame rather than co-evolve while I'm all about 50/50 with most things (yes, I'm a Libra.).

While writing this, I saw my friend Bex's post on her Facebook and it was another thing that has recently crossed my mind. She wrote: "We ALL have willpower... it's how and why we do everything that we do. Now, what are you willing yourself to do today? Is it your will to be positive and healthy or lazy and apathetic? Is it your will to move toward joy or toward mediocrity?" She preceded this by explaining our skewed definition of willpower and how we only seem to use it as example of what we are depriving ourselves of. I know that I take an active role in being who I want to be. Concerning myself with things that really matter and trying my best not to whine about most things really. I don't think I'm always right, but I strive to be rational.

Ugh, I'm all over the place with this post it's the PMS I swear. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm so over people not taking responsibility for the type of person they are or want to become. They're convinced at such a young age that they've got it all figured out and the rest of the world needs to catch up.  It makes me uncomfortable when someone sets their self in stone so soon. I worry about them. While I worry I'm also annoyed. Get over yourself.

This is so much garbage, does any of it even make sense? hahah FML!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

E is for Enough Crying Already!

I had one of the best weekends I've had in a long time, but it was also super emotional. I'm not sure of exactly what it was, but there was a bajillion thoughts going through my head. I was crying pretty uncontrollably come Saturday afternoon. It was so bizarre. I was so overcome with all sorts of feelings that they demanded physical manifestation. I'm such a cry baby :(

I finally got to see my BFF I grew up with. Only this visit I met her almost 7 month old baby. I fell in love instantly and looked at my friend in an entirely new way. I cannot believe some of my best friends are moms. It's unreal. I had to say goodbye after an hour or so and during our goodbye hug I had that feeling of not wanting to let go. The second I closed the door to the house behind me, tears flooded my eyes. I think it was a mixture of missing my old friends, feeling like I'm way behind in life, and  overall just wondering what the fuck I was going to do. After a minute or so I had to calm down, I was heading to my parents' house and they're all up in my face.

I played it cool until I went upstairs to shower (everyone knows that's the best place to cry because the water washes it all away and soothes your red face ha!). A blend of fear, sadness, heaping spoonfuls of self-loathing, and a pinch of anger were in that shower with me. I was enraged with the universe.  I didn't understand how I got so far across the street from my friends.

That night I headed further into South Jerz for a girl's (and 1 boy) night. Some of us spilled some pretty big beans that we hadn't shared out loud yet and yet again I was crying (while of course laughing at myself saying "SEEEE! I CAN'T STOP!") In a drunken cry fest mode, I actually asked my friend out loud "Damnit, do I have to move back to NJ?" (To which, LP calmly replied, "I think you do."). While I have NO intention to soberly do this, it was even crossing my mind on the drive down. I felt, on that day, that I was missing out on so much. Too much. That I missed my friends, and that feeling of simplicity and comfort I had in the burbs of my hometown. In reality, at this time, I have no desire to move back. And I know if I did I would sit in my room night after night feeling like I had thrown everything I wanted out the window and for nothing.

While my friends' lives move on I have this feeling like I have to be there. Well, I don't. I think all of us just need to know that we are only a couple (if that) hours away physically, and only a 1 second phone call. I'm not far behind anyone being single and childless, I'm just on a different road for now. I don't think any of us really know where we're going, but it's nice to be in this life and figuring it out together.

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Dream Hotel

I was standing outside the Dream Hotel on 10th Ave a few weeks ago when a handsome older gentleman walked by and sorta gave me the once over. I figured his scrunched face was more about his distaste for my pink hair and less about the left over sun peeking through the buildings. I was wrong.

 When he came back around the corner I figured he lived close by (he does), but when he approached me I wasn't sure what he was gonna say..."I have to tell you, I love your hair, and your pale skin, with the black [dress] and the tattoos. I'm a photographer currently working on portraits focusing on the profile and I would love to shoot you if you're interested." He quickly opened his iPad case and showed me some of his work. A few portraits that looked painted (which I love photos like this) and then some beautiful body shots that come to find out are of escorts. These statuesque abs and booty shots were so beautiful, I said yes and introduced myself. He asked what I did and he was even more excited. I gave him my card and finally our schedules worked out and we shot on Sunday at his home studio.
This is his favorite so far. I remember him saying "fix your hair it's going flat" so in a very sarcastic, faux sexy way I fluffed it up and said "like this?" in my breathy voice. LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE hahah Just sayin.

I'm actually glad he wanted to do some black on black shots. I too have come to love my pale skin and it's contrast against the dark. Especially with the pink hair for added effect. I don't love this pic, but I get it. Did you notice my beauty mark? I had laughingly said "aw man I forgot my mole" after we wrapped the day and he said where do you usually wear it and I informed him that it changes, but pointed to my cheek. Well, thank you post production, I look like a totally different person!

While chatting post-shoot he was telling me about how he's gone through this total shift from artsy still life or architecture to portraits. The more he shoots people the more apparent it becomes (which I totally agree) that he is meant to have a person in front of his camera. He told me how fascinated he is by people, to which I quickly shouted out "ME TOO!" I confessed my love for biographies and how inspired I was by people more than anything else in the world. The good in them and the bad.  I was proud of him when he told me that he was finally getting more confident in just going up to someone he found interesting and asking to take their picture, sometimes right then and there. He had this beautiful shot of an old woman sitting in a cafe whose hair was perfectly sculpted resembling the Sydney Opera House. No lie. That picture will be in a book someday. Good thing that's his bill paying job: publishing, editing, "essentially I put together coffee table books".  You can check out more of Tom's work here. Too bad for you I got to see some of the good stuff not on his site yet!!

I just started reading Clara Bow's biography by David Stenn (Clara Bow: Runnin' Wild) that I got a birthday present from my friend KB. It's already so sad, her childhood was much less than desirable to say the least. I was crying on the subway. I'm so corny haha I'm just getting into the beginning of her career though. Also, it's a first edition hardback from the 80s that she paid a few cents for at a yard sale...total score!! I had no idea Clara was from Brooklyn. It's pretty amazing to hear the mention of some streets at the turn of the century that I actually walk down today and how she worked at Nathan's hotdog stand for 1 day only. Crazy right?!

Well, I'm off to work. I interviewed for this great opportunity for a 2 month project but I didn't get it. I'm sorta not surprised and could understand why they went with someone else but it would have been a really great job to be a part of. Oh well, what can I do except keep trudgin' along!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

So what now?

I went to LA, I turned 29, Meat My Friends is over...

LA ruled, being 29 is fantastic, Meat My Friends was a phenom show (IT WAS AMAZING!! Shout outs to  Evelyn Vinyl, Francine, Foxy Vermouth & Dottie Dynamo. ALSO I had a childhood friend from the band Airplane Noise play some tunes to start the night and it was perfect). My friends showed up from NJ and that is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS a great feeling and the audience in general was an enthusiastic group of people as usual. Producing a show is always the fuel I need to keep going.

Soooo, what now?
I applied to a few jobs & castings, my mom hooked me up with some awesome finds from Torrid (I get 95% of my jeans there), AND I'm working on a few productions (PHILLY, WE'RE COMING FOR YA!).  Now that some things have settled, I'm looking forward to having more time - thanks to 1 less job, no thanks to less money - to focus creatively and really push myself to be an entertainer. I've been toying with joke writing although I don't seem to be good at it. What I MUST train myself to do though, is write everything down. Like most people I'll have a light bulb moment and then before I know it, it's gone! Dust! Mental dust.

I read Joan River's latest book I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me and got so inspired (I've yet to see the documentary but I'm getting my copy soon). She is so raw & fearless in her comedy. Insult comic extraordinaire. No one is safe in that book! My fave rant of hers? Short and sweet:

I hate narcissists. They never talk about me.

On that note I'm outta here! I'm feeling inclined to talk about lazy people with preachy, big ideas. An object at rest stays at rest, freak!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Do guys do this?

Do they get that feeling? ANY feeling for that matter when they meet someone "interesting" whether it's for 10 seconds, 10 minutes or 10 hours? Do they long for a person once they're gone? Does your curiosity keep you up at night? Do you go back and forth in your head what you should have said, could have done, or would do if you got the chance to meet again?

My trip to LA last week - which was very hard to return from - was for a quick freelance gig to manage a photoshoot. I've met most of the team before on prior projects but when this blonde dude with piercing blue eyes walked in I immediately clammed up. So pathetic.  He introduced himself and I immediately recognized his very strong accent. The shoot began and we barely got to chat 1) Because our stations weren't really that close all day 2) I was too shy to make jokes with him but talked to everyone else (FML!). We made eyes throughout the day but nothing else. Towards the end of the day when we began cleaning up I asked him "So where are you from? What is your accent?" He replied "I'm from Hungary."
Oh god. So I did that crazy girl thing in my head where I picture him coming to NJ meeting my family and they're all happy and talking about "back home". Crazy right, but we do it. Uncontrollably do it..even the "coolest" of girls haha Damnit! So I said "I knew it!" then continued to speak in Hungarian. No lie, he turned around slowly with his eyes & mouth wide open. Then I clammed up again, made some stupid joke in English and walked away. WHAT THE HELL TINA!?

When he was finally leaving for the day we shook hands, chatted for about 2 seconds and that was it. I was basically saying bye to him before the conversation was over because I was so nervous. I was pretty much pushing him out the door while my face felt like it was blushing to a crimson color and I could barely form a sentence. What is that all about?! Jerk. The second the door closed I mentally slapped myself and thought I should run after him and give him my card and say "if you ever come to NY look me up!" and obviously in the back of my head I'd be thinking: even if you don't come to NY, call me.
None of that last part happened and now I can't stop thinking about a guy I barely know.  And it's completely not like me to sit back and let this pass me by, but I've been putting off contacting our mutual coworkers and getting his information. I don't even know his last name. Am I crazy?  I'm more of an "at least you tried" kind of person so I should get on this, shouldn't I? I think if I don't I'll regret it forever (or at least until I stop thinking about it...who knows when that will be!?)

So I keep wondering if guys ever go through this? Are they ever slapping themselves over the coulda, woulda, shoulda stuff when it comes to girls? Yesterday, my horoscope (unknown source, as I was reading it on a tv screen at a coffee shop around 6pm last night) read that someone from my past will come back into my life and has changed for the better. While those of you who know my past can pinpoint where my mind went to, I secretly I hoped my "past" was only a week's time.  I don't think guys go through any chain to track down a girl but my natural optimism always says "you never know". I'll probably be sending an email to get his info today. I'll let you know how it goes.

MARK YOUR CALENDERS! I'll be celebrating my 29th Birthday MEAT MY FRIENDS style in Staten Island!
Thanks to my friend Jose for the awesome flyer. If you don't know him, he is also the mastermind behind Molto Burlesque. Check it out!! I'm excited to be bringing two newbies Francine & Foxy Vermouth to the island, as well as bringing back faves Evelyn Vinyl & Dottie Dynamo. AND some friends of mine from Airplane Noise are gonna open up with some songs...got any cover requests? Let them know! I thought about some classic song to join them on. We'll see what happens!

This is my first official week with only 1 job...I'm LOVING today. I think Tuesdays are going to be my days off so Tuesday with Tassels should get more interesting as I'll have more time to devote to things floating around my head.  As I mentioned up there, this trip to LA was very hard to come from. I had such a great time on set and then bike riding through the Larchmont section of town. My celeb siting this round was Eric McCormack!  I'm looking forward to making moves. I've been applying to jobs and organizing bigger, better events.

Thanks so much for stopping by and hopefully enjoying your time here. If you're interested in guest posting, I'm still accepting. I had a lot of people express interest, but I'm still waiting for them! Send submission to TinaTassels@gmail.com - look forward to hearing from you!

Ciao for now,


PS: The other day at work, I joked with our security guard that he has to apprehend this really attractive guy because he's stolen my heart. OH SNAP! After my cheesy line, I was laughing as I began working on a client's makeup and told her about my awesome line. I wondered if people really say things like that because I think they're charming. She went on to tell me about her would-be husband and how they met. He walked by her and after they passed he yelled back to her "excuse me miss, you dropped something!" and she said "oh thanks, what was it?" he replied: My heart. SO corny, but it SO worked. She showed me the ring. Crazy right?

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

You Can't Freakin Win Sometimes

I'm so over people that get territorial and even rude when it comes to accepting others as part of a certain "scene" or group or whatever. Does that even make sense? haha What I mean is along the lines of telling someone they're shirt isn't pink enough to be in the pink shirt club. Get it?

This thought came up a few weeks ago when I attended a plus sized event for Fashion's Night Out: Plus Night Out. At first I was going to go by myself as I would know a few people there. And as unsettling as going places by yourself can be, I told myself a year ago that I would start being more confident in attending events or shows etc..that I wanted to even if it meant walking in alone (and looking awesome as hell doing it). Before I knew it though, my girl Brassy was interested in going too!!

Anyway, I was explaining to her that big girl events make me extra intimidated to attend alone because I always get the "girl, you ain't plus size" crap. The "you're not quite big enough for this posse" comment. So not only are big girls pinning themselves against little girls, they're also pinning themselves against smaller big girls. What the fuck? I know this always stems from some sort of self consciousness and happens in all sorts of circles but I'm just so turned off by it. I find it unappealing and it's essentially moving things in a backward direction rather than forward. 

I thought about this again on Saturday while I was in Long Island at yet another AMAZING festival that I emcee. This one happened to be extra good too for some reason. Everyone seemed in such a better mood than usual and really in it for the long haul. There were a lot of vendors, food, classic custom cars, people dressed up, 10 bands and even legendary band The Rockats stopped by for their 1st set in NY since 1984 (I think ha!). SO GREAT!

Out there I always host the pinup contest and this time I assisted in the first Greaser Guy one too. Usually I try to go around and chat with the party people and ask for question ideas to ask contestants. While I approached a group that looked like no joke (I'll admit I was nervous haha) one of the women, maintaining her furrowed brow and non-smiling face said to ask questions along the lines of "are they a real greaser or just a weekender?" then puffed her cigarette. I smiled and said something sort of implying that she was a bit too serious for my taste and walked away.

I could care less if someone is a weekender or a day-to-day anything. If you enjoy something fuckin enjoy it and don't let other people grill you over it. Frankly, I wish I curled my hair every day but I don't, I'm a weekender pinup and it even depends on the weekend. Call me lazy, a fake, whatever it is that helps you sleep at night, but while you're at it you can also kiss my ass.  I don't bother you about not being enough XYandZ so what the hell do you care what anybody else is. I won't get defensive I'll get real if you want to get into it.  People are so corny...get over yourselves.

I leave for LA tomorrow!! It's turning out to be an all work, no play trip but whatever. I'll take a few hours in the air and some time to myself for a few days. I'm not complaining. I'll also take a trip to the Bettie Page store on Hollywood Blvd. no biggie haha I REALLY wanted to check out my girl's new Pinup Girl Clothing store in Burbank but alas I will not have time...booooo! If only LA was a little more like NY in walking city type of way...*sigh

COMING UP: MEAT MY FRIENDS: My birthday show at Full Cup in Staten Island!!
Woohooo - some live music might be added to the roster, you'll have keep in the loop to find out!!
I hope you're all doing well. I for one have been enjoying this transition to Fall weather! I love summer but wish I could wear my fall clothes. Does that make sense? Stockings, jean jackets, and cuffed jeans here I come!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Broad on a Budget

HELP!! I'm going to die of starvation!! Thanks to living in NYC after losing the job I moved for, I racked up some debt. I'm thankful it isn't anything over the top but we all know (and it's logic) that it's hard to pay off bills if you're barely makin dough! 

Forgive my dramatic entrance, I won't die of starvation but I'm kind of freaking out. This will be my last week with my additional Babysitting income. I'm actually scared that after ensuring my rent & bills are paid (the minimum amount due) I will have small funds with which to buy food. I won't be starving but I'll be living like your average college student: on ramen. And listen, I love Ramen as much as the next drunk girl at 3am but the reality is that my body & skin despise it. But at 10cents a pop -in some strores- it seems like the cheapest way to stuff your face.

I eat well. I mean that in two ways: I'll have a salad for dinner AND that salad will be a huge one. A head of romaine lettuce, a cucumber, an avocado, a tomato, half an onion, maybe some shredded carrots, a little bit of cheese, etc...I love salad, but not a sissy salad hahah I buy fresh veggies almost daily. This adds up. I'm going to have to really monitor my portions.

It's good I don't shop much in general unless I'm feeling stressed or find something I really love and it's on sale. I have more than enough clothes and junk to keep me covered and busy for awhile.Over the years I've become really aware of how fortunate I am and decided to be more "adult" about my purchases, meaning I prefer to step back and decide if something would be useful to me. I don't believe in weighing "I need" vs "I want" because the reality is that we don't NEED more than we already have. We are WAY above and beyond compared to a lot of the populations from around the world. Stop whining and start appreciating.

I was wondering if anybody has any good tips to share that help them save money or spend less or get the most bang for their buck? Do you put away your loose change? Do you plan meals/grocery shopping? Do your prioritize payments as to which bill you wanna pay off faster? Do you stock on household goods when they're on sale (toilet paper, paper towels, etc)?
At the beginning of every month I make list of all my bills and dates they are due and what the current balance is on each account. Seeing the numbers is much less frustrating than avoiding them and being in the dark about it.

Hope to hear from you!!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I had one of those moments...

I had one of those moments when 30 seconds feel like 20 minutes and you sink so far back into yourself you essentially feel like you're on the outside looking in.
I saw myself standing in BB King's in the middle of Times Square watching a Buddy Holly tribute band (The Rave-Ons). People were clapping and even some dancing around their tables. The maturest of audience members were mentally revisiting their teen years as "True Love Ways" closed out the night. I coulda cried if I really wanted to, but I sucked it back up and celebrated the moment. I thought about years from now when I'd be able to look back at my 20s and realize how amazing and fortunate my time here in NYC has been so far. I'm pretty sure I told someone about having "big dreams" last night and that it's possible to make em come true.

For those of you that don't follow me on one of my many social networking platforms (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr) you might not know that I am a 2day-a-week babysitter for almost 3 years now. I've done it to supplement my my other job(s). Recently though, I decided it was time to quit. I'm kind of freaking out because that extra money (although I was underpaid) makes such a huge difference. Anytime I sort of thrust myself into these "hard" times, it is during them I end up challenging myself and becoming much braver. I'm looking into jobs that I would otherwise be scared to even apply for (which is nuts!), I will be going to LA in a few weeks for a quick production job, I will have more time to focus on making new acts and hopefully bigger and better productions on the way!

As for now, September 15th I'm heading back to Long Island to emcee. I LOVE going out there for these quarterly car show/music/swing dancing/pinup contest festivals. The people are always so kind to me and I really enjoy the night!  Friday, October 5th I'll be celebrating my 29th (EEEK!) Birthday at Full Cup in Staten Island!

I was originally welcoming guest posts for Summer, but since I've got a great response so far I'm keeping it open!  If you'd like to submit something, please send to TinaTassels@gmail.com. This is an attempt to give readers a voice! You are welcome to be anonymous. It's a fun way to get some feedback on lingering questions you've had, bitch about something/someone, or just share a creative piece.

Thanks again for stopping by! Have a great week :)

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Don't Judge a Book by It's ANYTHING!

Me: I'm reading Ron Jeremy's autobiography
Lover: Why?
Me: Why not? I love hearing anybody's story...*gets interrupted*
Lover: I just think there wouldn't be much to tell...he makes adult..*gets interrupted*
Me: Really? It's actually super interesting so far. He's just a cool guy from Queens.
Lover: He's from Queens? Oh, nice, I didn't know that.

And so it begins...
I finished Ron Jeremy's autobiography: "The Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz" sometime last week. I didn't want it to end though. There's very little I enjoy more than hearing/reading about someone's life story when the struggles, curiosities, insecurities, and even the settings run so parallel to my own. And the reality is, they aren't just to my own, but to lots of us.

It sounds so stupid to even admit but we seem to forget that celebrities are even human. That even though in the public eye they are sort of robots, it's when all the cameras are turned off and the interviews have ended, that they are essentially only human. (Note: I indulge in tabloid magazines and thoroughly enjoy a REALLY bad celebrity story. My fave feature though is "Celebrities: They're just like us!" No shit.) Anyway, what better discussion to have than to divulge all the "did you know.." fun facts about Ron Jeremy? If you don't follow me on Facebook or Twitter than you probably didn't know that I tweeted Ron AND HE WROTE BACK!! I'm so corny I know, but I was really happy to see a reply from him (or his management ha!).  I am fascinated by 70s NYC and what a different world it was. I love the references to streets and venues that may or may not exist anymore. Fun facts like Rodney Dangerfield's comedy club actually used to be a club called Magique where you could only imagine the sex, cocaine, and dancing of the times. It was the NYC I didn't get to live through but on the same streets I get to now walk down with a fellow dreamers stories...

Off the bat, Did you know that Ron's entry (no pun intended) into pornography was an unintentional one? As an ex-girlfriend of his explored her interest in photography, she snapped a few pics of Ron and his above average pecker. As they looked at the pictures she joked that he should submit to Playgirl's "Boy Next Door" feature to get a couple hundred bucks IF they used the pictures? He didn't make the cover but he got a check in the mail and that was the end of the story.
It wasn't until a friend introduced him to a B movie producer/director who had actually made the shift to X-rated ones, but his friend wasn't aware.

Did you know that Ron's dream was AND STILL IS to be a professional mainstream actor. He talks about it all the time but realizes when porno flicks have hurt his chances but also when they have helped him get certain roles.

Did you know that Ron Jeremy Hyatt was born and raised in Bayside, Queens to a loving family? His parents appear to be the loveliest of people! His mother passed away years ago though due to Parkinson's Disease. He is one of 3 kids that include his brother & sister. His mother was a spy during World War II.

Did you know that Ron used his middle name instead of his last because his father told him to?  In Playgirl though, Ron had submitted with Hyatt and his poor grandmother started getting phone calls from strangers looking for Ron as she was listed as "R. Hyatt" in Bayside, Queens.

Did you know that Ron is recognized and respected by PETA for his efforts in educating on humane animal practices? He is an animal lover and his most prized pet was Cherry, a turtle. He also shared a pet rat,
Fetus with a long time girlfriend. The rat was previously owned by Howie Mandel. They called him Chemo. Why all the hilarious/bad names? Fetus was hairless!

Did you know that Ron introduced Slash (yes, of Guns N Roses) to his wife Pearla?

Did you know that Ron does stand by comedy and was great friends with the late Sam Kinison? He used to spend many a nights with Sam, a then unknown Jim Carrey and sometimes even Robin Williams would join them for late night eats at Downtown NYC diner,

Did you know that Ron, even before watching his mother's health fail, is afraid of death? He struggles with the idea of ceasing to exist. (ME TOO RON!!)

Did you know that anytime Ron's famous friends would visit set it was only days he did not have a scene? His biggest fear was  one of his non-porn acting buddies to see him. He broke this rule 2x and later in life for movie directors and that's only because the scheduled actor didn't show.

Did you know that there was/is only one woman in Ron's life he would have married & had kids with? She wanted him to quit his swinging lifestyle and he didn't. They remain best friends til this day and talk on the phone "like teenagers" according to Ron. I struggled with this story, even cried! I understood both of their sides. And I know all my girlfriends are going to say "why didn't he just quit?" I know it's because he wasn't ready to. Maybe he'll never be ready to but I'd rather he do what's best for him. I think he knows that if he quit he'd only be lying to everyone and maybe he didn't trust himself? Or you know what, maybe it's as simple as the fact that he'd be denying himself something really natural. And if you ask me the only people that would get "mad" over this are the people that are feeling repressed and too weak to fight for their own wants and needs.

Did you know that Ron refers to his pecker as schmeckle more often than not? It's hilarious.

Did you know that Ron is a licensed special education teacher? He's also been playing the piano since he was 8!

After all his "I met this celeb" mumbo jumbo (even though I get it, I'd be excited too) Ron is a really likeable average guy who was always looking for his big break. I don't think he had the natural talent unfortunately but his drive keeps him in the game. And no matter how many of his scenes end up on the mainstream cutting room floor (which are lots) he's got a lot of credits under his belt.  He's considered the #1 porn star on AVN's (Adult Video News) top 50 of all time. No matter what you think about him you can't deny his celebrity.  I am inspired by him and now I root for him. He's nearing 60, looking a little rough but seems to be a teddy bear that really just loves life and people and being free at the expense of no one but himself. He doesn't smoke and barely drinks and his only vice is that he's a hard worker...in more ways than one.

Without rewriting the entire book I hope you enjoyed a few of the stories that stuck out to me. I think of his long time love Juniper and how if he had given up his adult career for her what his life would be like today. I wonder what he feels when he wakes up. The days he has no where to go or no scene to shoot, how anxious he is at home alone...

Thanks again for stopping by! Have a great a week!

Ciao for now,


PS: Yes, I'm sleeping with someone who says "adult film" before porno. hah! I thought that was funny.

PPS: Save the Date - Friday, October 5 Full Cup, Staten Island "Meat My Friends" is coming back to celebrate my birthday!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Tuesday with Friends of Tassels: #3

"Rude Awakening"
by Trashy Hipster

I want everyone to (figuratively) close their eyes and imagine this scene.

It’s starting to get late, and your vision is starting to blur and the conversation with this kinda-cute guy is starting to get a little dull. A move gets made and the next thing you know you’re pouring yourself out of the cab that he’s paid for and stumbling up the steps to your brownstone.

The key slips into the lock and the next thing you know you’re naked, your head is throbbing harder with each heartbeat, and as you swim to the surface of your consciousness, you realize that you are being woken up by a man boy interrupting your miserable sleep trying to wedge his half-cocked sorry excuse of an erection between your thighs and into your peach fish.*  Or you actually haven’t gotten any sleep all night because he’s been putting his sticky fingers back inside you all night while you were trying to sleep. Or he has somehow managed to relocate your hand in your sleep and is quietly using it to stroke himself stiff.

And in case it has not already been made abundantly clear, we are not talking about a familiar lover, or even a regular, friendly poke. We are talking about someone who, for all intents and purposes, may as well be a complete stranger. A guy from OK Cupid. Some friend of a friend you met at a party and thought was cute at the moment.

Raise your hand if this has happened to you.

We are talking about sleep rape: a social disgrace and wildly inappropriate, but for some reason, remarkably common. Sure, it’s not rape because consent has already been given and you’re both naked in bed, but it’s not quite consensual either, is it?

You see when a lover wakes you, there is a prelude; a caress, or a kiss perhaps. Slowly, sleepily rolling over until you’re facing each other, a shy, lazy smile. If your partner can be roused, languid morning sex can be some of the best sex there is to be had in the world. But if none of that prelude happens, nothing happens. Because people are trying to sleep.

Just what is the impetus behind this phenomenon? Total release & satisfaction just happened under 8 hours ago – for you definitely. Let’s table the discussion of my satisfaction for now and remain focused on the fact that you are about to sleep rape me. Are you really so dull? Can you possibly believe that in the course of fending off a headache, gagging over the taste of stale cigarettes and beer in my mouth, and aching for sleep that I will actually enjoy myself? Are you actually enjoying yourself trying to get a little more fun in before you duck out? Honestly – what exactly is going through your mind?

I’ll tell you what’s going through mine. Right now, I’m thinking about how soon I can get you out of my apartment and why I let you inside it to begin with. I’m thinking that right now, you still believe that I’m asleep. I’m thinking that right now, I am about to do everything I can to try to make myself seem as repulsive as possible until you are running out of my apartment choking down vomit.

*God, Tom Robbins, thank you so much for that one.

First of all Peach Fish. Nice!
Second of all, maybe I don't get around enough (and thank god if this is what I'm missing), but the idea of this still happening in adulthood just makes me think you're hangin with the wrong dudes! I feel like this is a story I heard happening throughout high school when guys felt too self-conscious while the girl was still at attention. Wow, this all sounds so awful! Hahah I will confess though, I kind of love sleepy sexy time. Maybe because I'm lazy? hahah I just made myself SO unattractive.

I do love the end where you're plotting to get them out as soon as possible. People aren't good at getting the hint. This is a major reason I prefer staying out because I can bounce at any time I want to and usually depending on the sitch. Usually what happens is the wrong person lingers and the right person gets up and leaves *sigh

Thanks again for stopping by Tuesday with FRIENDS of Tassels. If you'd like to submit, please send to TinaTassels@gmail.com. Whether you want to bitch about something , make me cry, need advice (from me and fellow readers), just want to share a story or poems and get some feedback I would LOVE to play hostess for you. Everybody deserves a stage at least once!

I got my period today and I feel like shit. Have a great day! hahaha

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Liberation Army

No, I am not referencing the PLA of China. I am talking about the Liberation Army of One. Of You.

Although I'm over worked and confused about where my life is headed, I'm absurdly calm about it all. Over the past few months I've really been letting go of some things from my past: lovers, haters, whatever. It's been happening so naturally that I haven't really been able to take it in; nor have I been missing anything that I used to think I couldn't live without.

To wake up in the morning this way, to a feeling of almost being born again, is the most free I've felt in my adult life. I don't know what really triggered it or when, but I do know I've been trying for years to rid myself of certain thoughts. Before even the idea of not having that depth/drama/emotional weight made me feel incredibly lonely. That if I held onto at least some things from "home" (aka NJ) I would have them to fall back on. That even if my life here was chaotic and stressful, I could lean on those fences of my former life.  The last couple of times I've been to NJ, I've been very eager to get back to NY. While I miss lots of my friends and on some occasions my family (they rule!), the fences are no longer strong enough to hold me and it hasn't forced me, rather it has ENCOURAGED me to walk on my own.

The only reason most people hold onto their past is out of fear of the future. Fear of the unknown, of the unfamiliar. It's been a long time coming that I had to free myself and stop worrying about others. While it's ALWAYS a work in progress I thought it was about time I shared. I feel liberated and with each morning yawn it gets better and better! To realize how much power we truly have as individuals to shape our own lives, our own attitudes, our own goals, our own EVERYTHING, has been the highest of rewards. I hope you get there too...

Got plans for Thursday night? Come to Coney Island! I'll be hanging with some super fun guys & gals at Clam Casino's Show - I can't wait! I love performing in Coney and I love the people I will be surrounded by.  I will also be doing my fave SUPER SLOW "Sleepwalk" number and also giving a newer costume a go (even though it will probably incomplete due to work, boooo!) but regardless it will be a great night!

Hope you're enjoying August, as Summer winds down I am looking forward to Fall and to my Birthday! Meat My Friends: Tina's Birthday Burlesque Party will be on Friday, October 5th at Full Cup in Staten Island. Show deets are on the way!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Tuesday with Friends of Tassels: #2

What Tina Tassels Taught Me About Health

I can still remember that fourth grade day when Tina and I were sat next to each other on the first day of school, thanks to my last name starting with a C and her’s a D. She commented on my Reeboks, “Those are nice shoes.” It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that my heart kinda soared.

I have always been deeply self conscious, like most of us, I suppose. My Reeboks were plain, white Reeboks. I’m not sure why Tina Tassels liked them so much, but the fact that anyone liked something I was wearing was very exciting to me.

Tina and I have always joked that we are opposites. I’m dark haired and she’s a blonde, I have dark eyes and she has “dolphin blue” eyes. She’s shorter, I’m taller. All physical traits, yes, but on a deeper level we are very different, too.

When I think of Tina I think of someone animated, full of life, funny, and excited about pretty much everything. Tina jumps into things and experiences them fully. She doesn’t let much scare her, or at least she doesn’t let it seem that way and she doesn’t let it hold her back. She’s never been someone who was flaky or phony, and she is always really good at calling out when other people are being flaky or phony.

While saying that I haven’t jumped into certain experiences fully, or that I can’t be animated, or excited about life isn’t entirely true, it doesn’t seem to be the way I approach things most of the time. I’ve always let my self doubts hinder my expression and steal my excitement.

Because of this I would say that life has always felt difficult to me. Tina has thought of me as being negative at times. I used to lack energy, and until I really understood health, food, and how energy works, I didn’t understand why. I always wondered why I didn’t have the gusto for life that Tina does.

Looking back, I realize that my lack of energy was not just an issue of poor physical health but also in large part to a lack of expression and creativity.

I have been working as a nutritionist for years, holding people’s hands on their way to a healthy diet and lifestyle only to see in myself and those that I work with that when people cannot express themselves authentically or be creative nothing else matters.

The greatest nutrition in the world can’t save a stifled spirit. I have routinely found myself back in similar situations in my life because shutting down creatively is a tendency that I have. I never see it coming until I’m in too deep. I’m not sure why, but it’s just the rut that I seem to fall into.

When I notice that I’m wearing the same stupid yoga pants every day, eating the same thing for dinner night after night, and only look forward to my husband coming home from work that day, I’m in a rut.

When I find myself in such a rut, I think of Tina, and how disappointed she would be in me. I mean this in the best way possible, because I admire Tina’s authentic self expression and creativity. I always have.

I’ve realized over the years that the more expressive I am with my writing, with my work, in my relationships, the happier I am. The lighter I feel. My life is more colorful and feels more like a dance rather than dragging my feet from one obligation to another.

Creative expression repressed is a dead end. It will bring you ill health, unhappiness, and torn relationships, even if you eat the healthiest diet on the planet, meditate, and work out everyday. A thriving creative life is evidence of a strong mind, heart, and body flowing with life force and full of power.

Creativity feeds and fuels the soul. It brings the kind of health that makes life rich, sweet, exciting, and beautiful. It is the joy of participating in life to the fullest. I’m lucky to have a good friend who has been such a great example of authentic creative expression to me.


I know what you're thinking "Tina, this is all about you of course you would share it," but that's not all it is. Of course I cried reading it for the first time while sitting in a pizzerria but I got over the compliments quickly and fell in love with the message. I found it so important especially due to the times we are living in. We are sadly consumed with making money (because lets face it, the times are tough) that we are sacrificing so much of what is important to us just to get our bills paid. It is a difficult time for artistic expression and money making to exist simultaneaously. Most of us are working jobs that aren't wowing us, ones that we don't even want to wake up for. I for one am not LOVING either of my bill paying jobs but I'm grateful to not dread going to them and I am thankful to even have them after almost a year of unemployment. I make sure to allow myself nights of performing, seeing shows (not as often as I should though), and even signing up for random dance classes here and there to keep me somewhat sane. I know years from now I'll remember my struggling days in NYC fondly, but living them right now is no easy feat!

I hope you enjoyed today's guest post. It was brought to you by one of my gorgeous NJ besties:

Marlena Torres is a certified clinical nutritionist who helps people around the world develop a healthy, nourishing, and indulgent lifestyle. Plant based nutrition, vegetable juicing, and holistic lifestyle practices are the cornerstone of her personal approach. Marlena is located in Lancaster, PA, and works with clients both locally and remotely. You can learn more about Marlena and her nutritional practice at marlenatorres.com

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Sexy Texts

I don't know about you but I love a good sexy time texting session. Frankly though, some people are just BAD at it. My fave partner in crime and I seem to have way too good of a chemistry when it comes to dirty talk and fantasy.  I will say it's not like this in person though, it's fun, but in no way like our text sessions.

I find it interesting how many do not partake in such safe, fun activity. Not even that they avoid it, but actually think it's stupid or even too silly to think about. I confess, I was one of those people until I actually let my hair down (literally and figuratively) and really enjoyed it for what it could be. Note: I'm writing this now because a few weeks ago - while apartment sitting ha! - I had SUCH a great session that it actually came up in conversation last night. I'm pretty sure it was a mix of hormones (read: PMS), distance, and just having been too busy to enjoy any physical sexy time with my lover that I was extremely open in the conversation, some of my pictures were a little more x-rated than usual, AND I was free-er in location because I didn't have a roommate to worry about. Is this too much? hahah

Anyway, having evolved into a person that really enjoys it I see how much it depends on your confidence level and your interest in fantasy.  I don't love porn, but I enjoy it sometimes (even though it's been forever). I'm not a role play type person either.  Maybe there's something about the taboo and the actual distance between us? I don't know about that, but what I do know, is that it works for me. If I'm in the mood and he's in the mood and it develops naturally in the conversation - game on! I think that's important too. We never say "hey, wanna sext?" (LOL I'm cracking up at that thought) it usually just manifests depending on our moods. Also, we are extremely trusting of one another. We've known each other for years and I can say nothing will slip. Believe me.

I feel bad for the people that aren't good at it though haha. They either come on too strong too fast and I'm thinking "WHOA! How'd we get to that step already?!" or they just aren't so naturally confident and sexy across satellite lines. Who knows, but this I say: Give it a shot and even try it again if it didn't feel right the first time.  It's not only a good time but definitely helps build your sexual confidence and simply makes you feel like an adult. I'll never forget the first time my PIC was asking me about it, I was a young girl still living in my parents house and while I'm laughing at the idea and rolling around in bed (exactly like a giggling teenager does in a movie) my mom walked in. HA! Oopsies!

Well, I had a super busy weekend!  I had a show on Friday after work, worked Saturday, then worked Sunday and followed that shift with another show!! *Exhale* I am tired. I am wasting my days working!! Gotta do what I gotta do for now though!  I have a show coming up in Coney again - stand by for deets - and am trying to set aside some time to organize Meat My Friends. Hopefully some big things are coming up for Fall & Winter!!

Have a great week - thanks again for stopping by!
Ciao for now,


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Sunday, Bloody Mary, Sunday

Yessss! I had this past Sunday off. (Sorta, I still had a work meeting 7-11a but wasn't scheduled afterward, woot!) I immediately decided to plan brunch. I wanted to have a day out in the world with friends and relax the way most people do. I had THE best day ever in soooo long. I, along with 5 lady friends, enjoyed food and lots of yummy breakfast drinks at The Sunburnt Cow. Having started at 1:30, it didn't end for 3 of us until about 9p in Union Square park with girl talk. It became apparent that I wasn't the only one that needed some solid girl time. It was a fantastic way to end the day...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a possible freelance job out in LA for September. I told the universe if I didn't get a call about some sort of work I'd still want to plan a long weekend out there and well, the universe left me a voicemail today ha! So now I'm just waiting to hear more info! Anybody wanna come with me? I stay in this really cute, inexpensive hostel in West Hollywood right off of the middle of Melrose..werk!

Ok, so 2 shows this weekend! I'm excited but it's making me realize how much more I need to start working on new stuff. I barely have time to breath some weeks so the idea of putting time aside to construct a new costume, choreograph a new dance, find new music, etc..is incredibly overwhelming. Anyway! You can find me with Dottie Dynamo at her show in Brooklyn: Bare Necessitease, 10:30p NO Cover at Lincoln Park Tavern. I can't wait, this will be my first time doing her show. Then on Sunday, church day, I will also be a first timer at Grindhouse Burlesk - looking forward to my busy weekend!!

I hope you're all well, and if you haven't yet, check last week's post. It was the first guest post I put up. It was a great write up from the perspective of someone living a completelly opposite life than I. Read, comment, let us all know what you think :)

Sorry there isn't much more going on, Summer is a bit dull on my end, but either way I keep on keepin on!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Tuesday with Friends of Tassels: #1

I am so excited to share with you the first guest post I received. It was SO interesting to hear from someone living a completely different life than I am. I tip my hat to them for being so open. I endlessly appreciate the honesty...If you're interested in posting please send any submissions to TinaTassels@gmail.com
I hope you enjoy the read and PLEASE comment below. Hopefully your fellow reader can get some incite, comfort, or just have something to read while bored at work ha!

"About a month ago I found out what a blog was and started reading yours I love it! I read your new posts but I've been going backwards reading some old ones. I really like the one where you wrote about your fam's discovery of you doing Burlesque and I want to vent about one of the comments you made. You talk about parents that want their children to live the "normal" life...house in the suburbs, married, etc.

I used to think that was the norm too until I started living it. To be brutally honest living this life I've never felt more like an outcast in my life. Talking to old friends and people I grew up with, I feel like life long friends have nothing in common and/or can't relate to me anymore. Since when did living in the burbs with your wife, cat, dog and baby make you the minority? Is it just me that feels this way or do all people in their late 20's early 30's feel uncomfortable with their situations? Should I just chalk it up to me thinking that the grass is greener on the other side or is our society changing? Is the new hipster/outcast image becoming the 30 year old husband and wife couple pushing their baby through the park? Living in the bubble I live in, my acquaintances and I feel we are, for the first time, looking at the world from the outside-in. Let's discuss. - Anonymous"

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Hair Today, Gon...Hair Tomorrow

I have pink hair. For the first time in my life I've FINALLY dyed my hair an unnatural, unconventional color. It was time. I realized I was preaching but not practicing although we know how hard it is to take our own advice, I was sick of it and frankly sick of myself. 

It's officially been 4 years that I've been living in NYC - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! To celebrate I decided to just go for it. A friend of mine recently started chemo. I don't know if you've seen my shares on Facebook regarding Yulady Saluti. You should check out her YouTube posts and help keep the positive energy flowing. Prior to chemo she figured she was gonna lose her hair anyway so why not start playing around with it. When I tell people the story I usually say something like this: she cut off her butt length, dark wavy Spanish hair and turned it into a blonde pixie for a week. After that and most recently she is a dark red head and couldn't be more inspiring. 

Her posts no matter how silly (because they usually are) bring me to tears. She made me realize even more so, that I couldn't quite figure out what we are waiting for to start taking adventures we've always wanted to take. How many of you ladies (and even gentlemen) have had the same hairstyle for years out of fear of change? It's your security blanket right? How many of you say "I could never do/wear that"? Guess what...you can! And you should! Whether it's red lipstick or bleaching your hair, get to it!

I know to my NY friends and more specifically my artistic ones, this doesn't seem like such a big deal but to the suburban life I grew up in this is huge.  The number one thing that kept me from doing it all these years was my family. Not a job, not a man, not ability, just the fear of disappointing my parents.  I then came to realize that if dying my stupid hair was a disappointment then it was only a further example of how different we really are. We don't look at the world in the same way and I was always struggling with this, feeling like I have to change their minds about everything they believe in. I was wrong. What I am finding though, is that with all these things I'm doing in NY I am unintentionally challenging them and am making them self-reflect. They, in that respect, have become part of my audience base.  I want to inspire, whether I do or not is not up to you, but hopefully by just being myself and ultimately happy I can enlighten or invigorate at least a handful of people.

I went to NJ this weekend and it would be my hair's first unveiling to my family, I was terrified to say the least. Mostly of mom haha. As the weekend came to a close though, she kissed my head while holding my face in her hands and said "it's kind of grown on me".  I almost died a little inside. How cool.

I sort of fibbed and said I'd be sharing a guest post but I'll save that for next week. I wanted to get this out, to share how big of a deal this was for me. It wasn't just about hair. 

Have a great week and stay safe from the heat! Thanks for reading!!

Ciao for now,


PS: Here's the first time the towel came off my head and I was spun around in my chair at the salon Kropps and Bobbers. My friend Michelle did the work for me (whose awesome hair blog you can read here) and my photog friend Paul happened to be there to document it!!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Title Free and Proud to Be

O. M. G. I had SO MUCH FREAKIN FUN at the wedding on Saturday. Two of my best friends got hitched and I had the honor of being a groomswoman for my boy LG. We danced so much, were dripping sweat like maniacs, and a few of us managed to stay up chatting in the hotel lobby until about 5am. There are few nights you wish wouldn't end and for some reason Saturday was one of them. Maybe it was the moon's position, the whiskey, or the filet mignon (LOL), but something good was in the air. *sigh And now we're here..in a new week. Back to work. Booooring! There's a pic of me en route to meet the groomsmen. I'm one of those bad accident via texting commercials waiting to happen. I just sweat my makeup in the natural light!

AND here's a bad pic of what I call my Lady Tux. I loved the shirt and tie look. It was so much fun to hang with the guys and see how that part of the day functions. Lazily and filled with alcohol..not much else to it hah! It was no stress and low key. Best ever.

So I've got a couple of exciting things coming up! Shows, a published interview (my first!), aaaand Big Hips, Big Dreams is asking for YOUR submissions! Yup.

First mark you calendars:
Wednesday, July 18 - Mo Betta Burlesque
My first time with this show. I can't freakin wait because Broadway Brassy is so fuckin cool!!
**Sunday, July 29- Grindhouse Burlesk
Also first time show at Back Fence!
You can keep an eye on my facebook page for show announcements and other nonsense!

Remember a while back I submitted my interview materials for Pin Up Perfection Magazine? Well, they held off on publishing it until this special edition "Celebration of the Female Form" - get your $5.00 digital copy here and read my first ever interview!!! Omg just read it. I haven't revisited this since I submitted it. I think I sound pretty great and I even end the interview with an ad looking for a single guy hahah I'm sneaky!

For Summer fun, I've decided to reach out to YOU. My readers. I've had people interested in posting as ghost writers and I thought it was a great idea to give people the chance to either post anonymously as a vehicle to vent or even to ask questions looking for feedback from your fellow readers. SO if you have any interest in posting on Big Hips, Big Dreams please email TinaTassels@gmail.com with your submission. I vow complete confidentiality and will only post what I feel is worthy (hate me if you have to, sorry!).  I've already got a few people working on their submissions. This is a free forum - share whatever you'd like!

 By this time next week I'll have pink hair. I cannot wait. That's all I'm saying for now ha!

Thanks again for stopping by! I hope you're enjoying the Summer so far. I know I am. I love this season and would take it twice a year if it meant throwing winter out of my face!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Peace out NY

Oh man, I am hurtin. Finally on my couch in NY after a great weekend in Atlantic City. I went to celebrate a bachelor/ette party! Being a groomsWOman, I was torn whether to bide my time with the guys or girls but was relieved when everyone decided to hang out together!

As tired as I am today (after a day back at work), it was well worth it. Getting out of NY and this life for a little bit is the best thing I can do. It gives me peace of mind. I am reminded why I miss my friends but also why I've always wanted to leave NJ.  Saturday was my first day off in 17. Yes, 17. Between 2 jobs, even 3 when performing, I work as much as possible and take a day when I need it. This is beyond important. Most people have weekends off and I hope they realize what a luxury it is in a time when people are begging for work. I know I'm not some laborious mine worker, but no days off takes a freakin toll on you! You MUST treat yourself to a break every now and then. Even if it is to do "nothing". Taking that breath of fresh air on your own time works wonders for the soul.

Frankly, Saturday rolled around and I would have been a pig in a shit to just lay on the couch all day and not talk to anyone except myself. Quiet is all I crave sometimes!  Working so much I find myself exhausted and over emotional some days. I wonder where my "real" job is (in contrast to the "fake" jobs I have that I don't really want) and don't understand how I can work so much and just be getting by financially. Thanks to NY my once clean credit cards sky rocketed after losing my job a couple of years ago Boooo!

This coming week I'll be in NJ a bunch. While looking forward to the wedding and pool time with some of my girlfriends, the anxiety of not working almost a week is ever present.I need to shake the feeling and enjoy myself. Those of you that like to work though have to understand me right? Having no schedule at all freaks me out haha I like some structure! 

I know I missed the Mermaid Parade this year - I've still never been so I guess I don't know what I missing yet anyway but the pictures look amazing!  I hope you all had a nice weekend are enjoying this dope weather. I love the summer!

I realize how boring this post is but whatevs...I didn't wanna leave you guys hangin and hopefully next week I'll have something more exciting!! Have a great one..

Ciao for now,