Tuesday, April 29, 2014

THAT was my gut?

I ended last week's post high on life, 2 days later I was at the bottom again. The irony is that my final thought was: I hope I don't end up a fool....
Well I feel like one. I once again find myself duped by the higher powers. I had to break it off officially with my dude. I'm extremely sad over it, but there are some serious issues that were getting worse rather than better and separating was better for the both of us. It is not my place to publicly announce what was going on, but let's just say some vices were getting in the way.

I had a REALLY tough week.  One minute I'm angry, the next I'm overcome with tear filled sadness. I cannot help him and that's probably the hardest part. I am not enough. Or the selfish valley girl in me says the hardest part is that I'm alone. again. So now I raise a glass to moving on...

I started my new job and love it. It has been rejuvenating to enter the work force in an industry I want to be in. I haven't worked in the music industry before so this learning process is fascinating. I'm exhausted, but thus is life right now!

Looking forward to Kitty Nights on Sunday. Gonna try out a new song & dress!

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Peace D, I'm Outtie!

...well ALMOST!
I'm SO excited to report that I'm getting back in the industry game with a job at The Agency Group.
It's my last full week at Tatyana Boutique (former Bettie Page Clothing) and I am so ready to move on. It's definitely time. I've been job hunting for months and finally a call from a friend came through for the win again. That "it's who you know" bullshit is SO true. I'll be working weekends thru May at the shop to help out...come see me on the Bowery while you can!  I cannot contain my excitement and relief. I will have weekends off this Summer. CRAZY!!!!

Dude update: I don't even know what to say. We're still dating. Things are great. I'm head over heels. Like crazytown. After my last post a couple of weeks ago, I woke up after 2 really sad days and was in a positive "it's time to move on" kind of mood.

I told my dude that our love affair was over.  He was devastated. He understood why I felt like I was dating someone else a few months ago and that this current guy seems uninterested so I just wanted to move on. He said no. That he wants to work on it. He also introduced me as his girlfriend to someone and I didn't look at him. Later on that night he asked me about it.
Of course I wanna be his girl but who knows if it's the right thing to do right now. My friends ask: what does your gut say? Um...my freakin gut has bad self esteem when it comes to guys. It is weak and screams:

Well, I've done NONE of the above with him and it's proven to have positive results. I'm really into him. End of story for now.  I'm really scared about my sharing all of this by the way. I hope I don't end up a fool...

Ciao for now,


oh yeah - SHOWS!

Sunday, May 4 - Kitty Nights! 9p $5
Wednesday, May 28 - THE PEACOCK PARTY - Duane Park 11p $10

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Back to the Drawing Board?

I think my dude has checked out of Hotel Tina - not only from staying here - but I mean mentally.  I felt like a stranger to him last night. Our time together has definitely become scarce over the past few weeks. I kept faith that is was ONLY our opposite schedules, our stress levels, even being sick - but those things are just enough. I said it a couple of weeks ago: out of site, slowly out of mind...usually.

It always sucks when things just didn't work out for no real reason. The blow is always much worse though when the ending isn't symbolic of the time spent together. Oh God, I think Carrie said something like this when she got the post-it from Berger. Ugh! I bet she'd prefer the post-it over a mental disappearing act!

All I ask of anyone I date (I actually said this to him): when you're ready to check out, just let me know. Please don't disappear. You owe me that and I promise the same to you.  It's the worst feeling and frankly it's insulting and incredibly hurtful. It also makes me feel foolish.  As if I'd been tricked...again! And just so it's clear this seemed to pass the "just dating" realm pretty quickly.

I don't know if I'm bummed because I haven't dated anyone in a REALLY long time or if it's just the familiar feeling of being written a short ending to the story again. Tina's cool, she can handle it. I CAN handle it, I'm just sick of having to. Damn, what a bummer huh? HA! This is why I don't date. I need to keep busy. That keeps my brains focused. I had a really great time Saturday night in Staten Island for the Tootsie Pop Burlesque show. The cast was such great company and I got to see some SI folks I hadn't in a long time...it was just what I needed!

Next on the schedule is Friday, April 18 for WORLD FAMOUS BOB'S BIRTHDAY PARADE! Wooohooo! Check out that set list!!

AND May 14, 11pm the Peacock Party is BACK at Duane Park! Save the date :)

Ciao for now,


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The "Real" World

It took a lot out of me to accept the MArcher show with TBA Con in Philly. I do & enjoy burlesque because I like to feel pretty. I love showing off my shape, having my hair curled,  lips bathed in red and lashes to heaven. The woman on stage is the woman I feel like inside, but don't really believe can exist in the "real world"...so there's that, but it was SO much fun. I'm glad I accepted the challenge and was fortunate to have an amazing cast to share it with and a ton of friends in my corner :) There are some pics and a write up is coming too. I'm not feeling confident about my pictures so I've avoided tagging myself, but I'm still proud. ugh! So silly, I know. What's important is that I truly enjoyed myself and had a great night.

MARCH 2014 EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH - BOOYA! (is that how you spell it?)
On Facebook I shared a link to my company's new page: Tatyana Boutique. We've decided to re-brand so we had a little more freedom when it comes to design. Check out the new website that has your usual favorites...Bettie Page Clothing isn't going anywhere, it's just about to join a bigger line! If you simply hit "like" on the new page you get entered to win a $100 giftcard - 10 Winners will be chosen so GOOD LUCK!

So I think my dude lied to me about something - pretty silly - and I'm thinking it's because he felt embarrassed. I'm gonna confirm it before I bother mentioning anything. That said - I will be seeing his place this week!

SATURDAY NIGHT I'll be in Staten Island back at Full Cup where I made my producing debut! I'm joining the cast of Tootsie Pop Burlesque for 2 acts and can't wait! Hope you can make it out. I'm off to bed because I'm definitely fighting a cold blah!

Ciao for now,